


And in your arms, I found a home...

by DefCYJ



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Im Jaebum | JB, Cat Hybrid Im Jaebum | JB, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Mention of Past Abuse, Smut, Top Choi Youngjae, it's sad but it gets better, jaybeee is a babiee, tiny mentions of wanting to make a baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:55:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29109654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefCYJ/pseuds/DefCYJ
Summary: Jaebeom needed some time to get used to loving someone, he really did.But now, as he was in his favorite pair of arms, there was nothing that felt better than being hugged by his loving boyfriend.And Youngjae just loves as much as the other does, to kiss his cheek gently and to hug him tightly.Or Jaebeom is a cat hybrid and Youngjae took him under his care.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB
Comments: 10
Kudos: 32





	1. Sleepless nights and vivid dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LoveGot7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveGot7/gifts).



> I saw it's 2Jae day today lol So I thought I would post the first chapter today.  
> Not sure what to say about the story but I hope you enjoy it.  
> The first part came after I wrote most of it so sorry if not everything is fitting perfectly.
> 
> Now that I finally have it finished ( and the approval) I want to gift it to I. since shes the one who made me think about writing cat Jaebeom <3  
> always happy and thankful for your support. Without you, there wouldn't be any more stories

_The rain kept pouring onto his small body. It was so cold and dark, and the thin fabric of his clothes was already drenched to the core. They didn’t last long to protect his sensitive skin from the water which he hated so oh much. Just a few seconds after he had left the house, they were soaked wet and sticking to his skin, feeling cold and heavy on his body. Unfortunately, there hadn't been a chance to wrap a jacket around his body since he had been in a hurry to run out of the door and into the street, and into his long craved freedom._

_It’s been some minutes maybe a half-hour by now. He wasn’t sure how long but he already felt like he would pass out anytime soon. He was scared like hell, frightened, his brain not functioning fully from the fear that clouded his mind with pure animalistic survival instinct and the rain that kept lashing onto his frame didn’t help at all. His whole body was rigid, stiff with fear and tension. His owner would come for him, Jaebeom knew. He knew he had been a very bad kitten, it wasn’t hard for him to grasp that he wasn’t behaving well, not that he ever did. And he knew he probably made the biggest mistake he could do. To destroy the house like the way he did, and to destroy the only precious remaining memory Youngjae owned of her. And even more, to yell at the other loud and clear about his bottled up feelings, and to let him know how much he hated it to be there and in this house with these constricted walls. And now he was coming for him, to give Jaebeom the punishment he deserves. He knew Youngjae would come for him since he would always look out for Jaebeom whenever he ran away. But it was never as bad as today. He could feel it in his body, the hair on his neck standing upright while shivers kept running down his spine._

_He was freezing heavily, wrapped tightly in his drenched shirt and shorts. The icy wind made his teeth crash against each other as he was shaking from the coldness of the stormy weather and the heavy rain. Jaebeom was hiding between trash cans in a small alley not far away from the house, he couldn't run far enough with nothing on his feet but socks, stones, and broken glasses already sticking in his soles. He should crawl further between the boxes to hide his body fully but there was no way he could squeeze his body in between. His arms already hurt from the scratches of the rough and worn-out plastic containers. The shirt he was wearing didn’t protect him enough, not even barely, and he could just hope the rain would stop soon to make his bruises stop to burn and itch. Or that the adrenalin would hopefully make them hurt less soon._

_He had tried to swallow it all down for some time now. The anger that kept boiling in his stomach and the tiredness from his sleepless nights which made him feel so aggressive and easily annoyed, when nightmares hindered him to find a peaceful sleep to regain strength and a clear mind. He was so exhausted, so tired and it made him snap and go nuts about every little thing. And today was the worst it had ever been. He had behaved like a maniac, broken glasses all over the floor and carpet, yelling at his owner how much he hated to be there under his roof. How much he hated to see his owner's smiling face all the time, when minutes later, the other would be crying in his room behind closed doors whenever he thought Jaebeom couldn’t hear him, thinking he was peacefully asleep._

_But Jaebeom could hear him every damn time since couldn’t sleep whenever he was with him. He never felt safe enough to close his eyes. He always felt on the alert, vigilant, waiting for the next move but it never happened which made him even tenser and anxious. That nothing happened until now was clearly no reason for him to trust the other, and it didn’t stop his mind from making him imagine all these things which he could possibly go through. He had enough experiences from what humans could do to him from before and they made him believe, no one would ever be kind without hidden thoughts to a hybrid one like him._

_He couldn't understand why the other was so nice to him, and so calm all the time, even if Jaebeom had been difficult from the very first day he finally felt strong enough to make it clear how much he despised the human race. There must be a reason, a plan behind. Nobody would be so nice without ulterior motives, Jaebeom was sure of it. And today was the day he would get to feel the other's fist or something worse if he found his hiding place._

_He couldn't think any further, couldn't think of the meanest punishments he could imagine as he heard the dull steps of Youngjae's shoes against the wet asphalt, splashing on the sidewalk's flooded surface. He heard his name, he heard his owner ask and search for him but he couldn’t, and didn't want to move nor did he want to answer._

_"Jaebeom…."_

_He heard the other's thin and cracking voice, could hear the uncertainty hiding there and he wished he would just go away and let him be. He didn't need someone in his life, especially not a human soul when all they brought into his life, was nothing but fear and pain. He was old and healthy enough now to live his life, far away from these monsters that gave him all these damn nightmares and fears to live with._

_"J… Jaebeom… it's cold and you hate the rain. Please come home and let us talk about it okay?" He sounded so gentle, so nice, and honest but still, Jaebeom couldn’t trust his words nor would he ever believe what the other said. He was still sure that it's been nothing but lies. Every nice and gentle word was never true when kicks and punches would follow soon after them. That's how it always was, that's how he learned it to be so why should he trust this one?_

_"I promise, I am not mad… please Jaebeom." the other whispered, his gentle voice filling his ears and mind, making him doubt his actions and decisions. But no, he couldn't give in, not again. It wouldn’t happen any more since the last time he became weak was his biggest mistake. "It's not your fault…" Youngjae added after a small pause, snuffling slightly since he was easily catching a cold. He could be worried but he wasn’t because words like ‘it wasn’t his fault’ and this annoying gentle way to say it, made the blood boil in Jaebeom’s veins._

_And that's when he snapped, again. With wide eyes, Jaebeom turned around as fast and as much as he could to look at the one that made him feel so angry and confused. His breath was heavy, his chest quickly falling and rising as he breathed out the air between gritted teeth. And he could just grow even more mad as he saw the other being so insanely confusing to him again, looking at Jaebeom with pleading chocolate brown eyes._

_Youngjae was drenched wet, eyes filled with such a desperate and helpless glimpse, it made him want to vomit right on the spot. His dark hair sticking on his forehead as he held out the yellow umbrella just for him to hide from the weather, even if Youngjae was shivering in his thin and ugly old button shirt. It was the same umbrella with the little ducks printed on, which Jaebeom had found so cute at one of their few strolls through the city. The same one he found a day after next to the cushion he was sleeping on, with a red ribbon around and a ‘don’t get wet’ written on in beautiful letters. He never touched it, Youngjae’s little present, just glaring at it with a wary glimpse even if the ducks were still cute to him. But he knew how much it would hurt the other not to touch it, so he left it lying there until Youngjae placed it on the shelf in the entrance hall._

_Why was he always thinking about Jaebeom first, when humans were just thinking about no one but themself. There must be a reason, something mean, something bigger than just being what he seemed. No one would be this kind, at least not a human being. He hated it so much because it made him feel so vigilant and scared to get a kick into his stomach whenever he was distracted and not observant. And it was sucking the last energy out of his already tired body and tired mind to be on the guard all the damn time. He would rather sleep on the street or under a bridge than be under a human's care and he swore to himself if he had the chance to flee, he would. And today was finally the day he had waited for._

_With quick movements, he freed his body from the place he was trapped in. His arms and legs burning from the new scratches that found the way onto his skin but he couldn't and didn't care right now. His luck was Youngjae's astonishment, as he used his chance to tackle him down, the dull sound of Youngjae's body against the asphalt still made him flinch slightly. The other gasped for air from the impact, maybe also because of surprise and from Jaebeom's weight on his chest as he straddled him. He didn't care at all. The other would hurt him as soon as he had the chance to, now that he must be so mad at him, right? So why shouldn't he use his chance instead to fight back and run away as far as he could._

_"Why," Jaebeom screamed out, his voice shaking and shrill, his words floating into the dark night sky. "Why can't you be mad at me when I did something wrong? Why can't you just hit me? Punch me? Kick me or cage me into a dark room without food. What are you waiting for? When I am not paying attention? I always do, I always watch you, so just hit me and give me my punishment you fucking asshole."_

_He was screaming at him, spit flew out of his mouth as he spilled the words with anger and hate. Youngjae's eyes wide in shock from these piercing words and Jaebeom could just scream out loud by the dumb and pain distorted face of the other. It wasn't because of the hard asphalt he was lying on, it's been Jaebeom's words that made him hurt like this, he knew since it was the same look from shortly before as he told him about the hate he held for him for the first time._

_"Be fucking mad at me, give me my punishment but don't wait and make me fear every step you take. It makes me crazy, you make me go insane with your fake smile and your fake nice words."_

_"Jaebeom…. I…"_

_Youngjae's bottom lip was shaking, tears brimming in his eyes before the corners of his mouth twisted into the hated fake smile again. He hated it so much, why did he always want to look content and collected? Why couldn’t he just show his anger so Jaebeom would be warned about the other's intentions? But there was never something like hate or anger in his eyes or face. Not even now and Jaebeom could just not understand his motives of being so kind without a reason. When would he show his real face, his real and honest motives?_

_"I could never hurt you… no matter what," he whispered quietly, eyes fluttering close as the rain or maybe, no probably tears rolled down his red cheeks._

_"Why…. Just tell me why… I can't understand you and your stupid actions." he whispered against his chest, his bloody fists clutching into the fabric of Youngjae's shirt, leaving holes from the force he was using and from his sharp nails. "You make me go crazy… just hit me as the others did… give me the punishment I deserve. Just finally do it..."_

_"Because…. no matter how much you hate me, Jaebeom… " Youngjae whispered, the pain in his voice was so unmistakable, so clear, so painfully clear it nearly broke his heart. Small sobs interrupted Youngjae’s words as he tried to continue with what he wanted to let him know. Youngjae’s arms that were about to hold tightly him sank back on the ground as he felt Jaebeom flinch heavily as he realized what was about to happen. The pure thought of being hugged just made him sick._

_"...You still make me so happy. How could I ever hurt you when you make me so happy."_

_His voice was barely audible, the wind carried Youngjae's words away into the deep blue night sky but Jaebeom was so close to his lips, he could hear every single word loud and clear, filling his mind with nothing but incomprehension. He couldn't speak, not sure what he should say when he was so confused and nothing made sense for him in his little brain. Why should he make Youngjae happy when he gave him nothing but pain? Why did the other cry all night if it wasn't because of the hate he felt towards Jaebeom? Why was there this fake smile on his lips when his eyes were so sad and lonely behind these self-built walls? He couldn't trust him and he never would. There was no chance for him to open up his heart right? It was better if he would just leave, Jabeom was sure about it._

_"You…" Youngjae brought out barely, quiet sobs which made it hard for him to speak further. "Having you by my side gave me a reason to get out of bed… to… to come home… again. Seeing you getting better, feeling a purpose to be here… it made me feel like I had a reason to stay… No matter what… I'm happy you came into my life Jaebeom. But if you want to leave me…" he said, stopping his words as if it was hard to bring them out, probably knowing Jaebeom would be gone before the sun was coming out. "If you want to go, I won't hold you back. But let me pack your things for you, let me cook for you one last time, and let me say goodbye in a proper way… that's all I'm asking… begging for…"_

Jaebeom flinched heavily as he woke up from his dream, or more the memory of a past time. His head and heart hurt from the picture that filled his mind with painful memorization while his heart was pounding heavily in his quickly falling and rising chest. He hated when these moments and the connected emotions with them came back out of nowhere, surprising him out of the dark which hit him especially worse when he was home alone. He shouldn't have opened the box with photo albums from the beginning of his stay under Youngjae's care since he knew it would bring these damn dreams back but he had hoped they weren't so strong anymore. And not so vivid and lively after all the time that had passed. But unfortunately, he had been wrong.

With tear-filled eyes, he looked down at the cream-white carpet right in front of him. His vision was still blurry due to the tears that grew in his eyes as his mind wandered back to the night of the origin of his dreams. The night it had happened. The night with their huge and ugly fight before everything changed, slowly with small steps but continuously until they became closer and much more comfortable with each other like they were now.

He still could see Youngjae's silhouette right there on the floor like it was yesterday. Him, with the old and ugly shirt around his thin body as he was lying next to the half-packed suitcase. Still with his wet and dirt covered clothes sticking to his body since Youngjae followed his will and wish to leave as soon as possible, even if it must have hurt his heart so much.

He still felt sad and he still felt bad whenever he thought about his behavior from the beginning but he knew he had his reason for acting the way he did, and Youngjae understood and never judged, just like he always did. Youngjae and him never really talked about it though, even if both still remembered it clearly. Youngjae didn’t have to tell him that these memories still lingered somewhere in the back of his head as well. He heard about them sometimes, in troubled hours at night all too clear, when Youngjae tossed and turned and begged him to stay with tears rolling down his puffed cheeks.

No matter how hard he tried, Jaebeom would never forget how he had found the other there on the floor, after he finished the hot shower he went through to stop his body from shaking and to wash the dirt out of his wounds. Yes, after Youngjae took him home again without yelling at him, not even the smallest mean word slipped past his lips. Youngjae had kept his words, he wasn't mad at Jaebeom nor did he use his hand to slap him, even if he had enough reasons to be furious. He still hadn't understood the other at this point, but now, everything was so clear to him. Now, after he gave Youngjae the chance to gain his fragile trust.

Actually, that night had been the first time he slept in one room with the other. He could still remember the already packed suitcase and the stinging feeling that came with it. Jaebeom had told Youngjae he would leave before the sun went up, ready to abandon this all and leave him behind, without even knowing where he should go but without looking back either. At least that was the plan. Youngjae had just nodded as Jaebeom had told him about his exact plans about his leaving, and as soon as they were at home, Youngjae had started packing everything Jaebeom could need. Thin and thick clothes, cookies, and packs of canned tuna which he liked so damn much were filling the old luggage up to the brim. And later he found out that Youngjae's hard saved money out of the little saving box, was somewhere hidden between a blanket, so Jaebeom would only see it when he was long gone. Even after everything that happened, Youngjae had been the kindest soul he had ever met and until today, Jaebeom still wasn't sure what Youngjae saw back then in him with all his noticeable flaws.

Youngjae must have been so tired, so exhausted that night, that he fell asleep on the floor as he was about to stuff Jaebeom's favorite toys, together with the in foil-wrapped duck umbrella, into the bag for his new journey. The other had hugged the little duck, which came in a set with the umbrella and which was his favorite toy to play with even if he would never tell him, while tears were sparkling in Youngjae’s eyes, his tired body already resting in a sleeping state. It was the first time Jaebeom had looked at him like really looked at him from close and without so much fear. And all he could see was the pain in his features and the arms that hugged the little bird as if his life would depend on it.

He still wasn't sure what made him rest his head on Youngjae's chest back then, maybe there, he already subconsciously knew Youngjae wasn't the monster he imagined, wanted him to be. As if his body worked on its own, he started to purr against Youngjae's chest without thinking. It was the first time in ages, maybe for the first time ever. He couldn't recall another time he did purr for someone else that weren't his loving parents. Oh, how much he missed them. Maybe his life would have been so different if he could have stayed by their side but there was no use in getting carried away in these thoughts, he told himself.

Back then, as soon as he had started to let those vibrating sounds leave his body, Youngjae had started to cry out loud, making Jaaebeom flinch by the force of emotions that hit him out of the blue. They were so loud, these aching cries of pain. His sobs, which turned into cries and whimpers while hugging Jaebeom’s slender body against his chest as the tears kept running down his puffed cheeks. They came out in thick stripes as if a dam had just been broken down. Like a wall that had broken up and Jaebeom’s soft purrs finally had set them free into the darkness of the night. Painful sounds continued to leave Youngjae's throat as Jaebeom proceeded to purr even louder against his chest and pounding heart, carefully snuggling closer into the crook of Youngjae’s warm neck. It felt as if they had opened a gate from held back feelings, pain, anger, and helplessness and it had somehow made Jaebeom so incredibly sad that he hadn’t seen this all before. Not that it would have made things between them easier but maybe Jaebeom could have understood him a little more.

It was the first time he saw him crying like this, even though he heard him so many times before behind closed doors. It was the first time he heard his painful screams as if someone just stabbed him right into his soft and surprisingly warm chest, it never had been like this before and Jaebeom wondered what else and which amount of pain was hiding behind the gentle smile. It was the moment Jaebeom had realized that maybe Youngjae had been holding back just for him, to not burden him with his worries and his own pain since Jaebeom had so much to carry on his shoulders on his own. And he wondered if maybe he carried an aching hole in his chest and heart just like him, suddenly feeling much calmer by the chance of being not the only broken one.

With shaking legs and body, he got up from the armchair he was resting on in the living room, shaking off the overwhelming feeling of sadness which spread in his body like a fever. Jaebeom shook his head and his legs once again before he walked into the direction of the kitchen but not before he closed all the photo books and stuffed them back into the closet they belonged in. It was enough for today and he hoped with the books being out of his sight, he would calm his mind down and stop these memories from flashing in front of his inner eye.

A slight headache creeping up from his neck into his head just like every time when these memories kept on rushing through his head. Even if there was no use in thinking about it, now that he had the time and no distraction to get rid of them, it was harder to focus back on something that made him happy and lifted his mood instead.

His heart was pounding heavily in his chest as he noticed the red light from the answering machine. He must have missed Youngjae’s call as he was lingering in his memories or as he thought of his dream and the rainy night. Cursing at himself about wasting the chance to speak to his partner when he needed him so much, he walked over to the phone with quick steps to finally hear the voice he was longing for so bad, hoping Youngjae had just called him to let him know, he would arrive soon.

_*Beep* "Hey Kitten, I'm so sorry, but I have to stay longer so I will sleep here in the office.... food is in the fridge...and please take care of you okay kitten?... I... I miss you and I… nevermind, I tell you at home okay? bye bye take care my love... and feel kissed"_

Jaebeom sighed deeply as he listened to Youngjae's message on the mailbox for the second time. The red shining light for a new message disappearing only as the job of informing him was done. Now that he knew how to use the apparate properly without deleting the messages by mistake, he would listen to Youngjae's warm voice a few times more than just once. Or whenever he missed his partner so much that it hurt. Once he had listened to Youngjae's explanation about the device without drifting away with his thoughts, it was loads easier to use the device than he thought it was in the beginning. When he was just pressing each button without knowing what he was even doing.

But it wasn't like he pretty much cared before. At least not until Youngjae had to stay overnight at the vet clinic more than usual and the only thing that gave him his needed good night message was that damn machine. 'Another lonely night, huh and that's when these dream came back...' he thought with a heavy heart and sighed a little as he walked back into the direction of the living room, his head and ears hanging low since he already missed him so much even though he heard his warm and gentle voice just now. But it wasn't just the warm and gentle voice he missed, it was his lover's touch and body warmth as well that always lifted up his mood. He just needed him so bad right now.

As much as he loved how Youngjae's job made him happy and content, and even though they only met because of that, he didn't like how much time Youngjae spent there by now and not with him in the past weeks. Youngjae felt pretty bad about it, Jaebeom knew pretty sure, but it wouldn't change the fact that he felt lonely and a little bored whenever he was alone at home for so many hours. Jackson, Youngjae’s dear colleague, was very nice though. He liked him the moment they met but Jaebeom couldn't deny he was a little mad at him for being so careless with his bike which lent to the accident, causing him to stay at home with a broken leg and bruised arm. And which was the reason why Jaebeom was alone so many times and for so long.

He was even madder since it meant Jackson could spend more cuddle time with his hybrid partner when Jaebeom had to give up time with his own. Jealousy had always been a little problem for Jaebeom, he already knew before, but sometimes he couldn't help to feel that way. Especially when it was about Youngjae and quality time with him. Time with him together was just better than everything. Better than watching TV all day and even than being lazy and having nothing else to do than enjoying the warm sunlight on his skin, which had been his only favorite thing to do before. But that was before he became closer to Youngjae and before he calmed down and opened up to the other.

Now, it was just more comfortable and exciting having Youngjae around, hearing about his day, sharing his own stories about the passing hours without the other, cuddling against his lean and nice body. Feeling the scratching of his fingernails on his scalp. Yes, everything was better with the other and it made him feel loads safer now, knowing the other was by his side no matter what. So many things had changed between them after that cold and rainy night and he couldn't deny that now, he could say words like ‘I love you’ while actually meaning them.

He could understand that Youngjae had to work a lot since the clinic was so low staffed and since he wasn't able to support him money-wise, but still... he missed Youngjae so much whenever the other wasn't by his side. It was a little new for him, the feeling of craving someone's warmth. Missing someone so much that it hurt his little heart was nothing he ever felt before. But with Youngjae it grew to feel so good and so natural now to be attached to a human soul and it made him feel so warm and cozy deep inside. Even warmer than the morning sun he liked to bathe every day. Warmer than everything he felt before. It might be a little strange to be so attached, especially after what had happened. It was even stranger for him to feel all these feelings when he hated him so much before but there was no use to deny these facts.

He had tried to ignore them for so long. He had tried to push these feelings in the corner of his head, far away, and locked into a little box in the back of his mind since he felt so bad about how he had treated him on their start. How could Jaebeom be in love with someone he was so mean to in the beginning. But it was in vain to ignore them. Maybe someone else would have known from the start that it would just crave the other's warmth and hugs even more. But he didn't, at least not consciously. He could have suspected it the moment he locked eyes with the warm orbs from the other which made his heart feel a little softer. The day after the fight, when Jaebeom had unpacked all of his things from the suitcase again, which made Youngjae gasp and nearly cry out loud again if there would have been a tear left to cry.

There, as his heart became so strangely warm as Youngjae had pulled him into a tight embrace, pulling him against his body as quiet sobs left his chest and lips. At first, it felt so strange, so unfamiliar to him, that he wanted to protest and push him away but as he heard the deeply grateful “thank you’s” and “I’m so happy”, he couldn’t pull away, even if he wanted. His body felt frozen on the spot, as if his body was now smarter than his brain, telling him it was okay to give humans another chance, or at least this only special one. And even after some time, Jaebeom had been just too dumb to see and too inexperienced in this field called love or feelings, to realize what this strange feeling in his chest meant, that spread slowly but steady in his body after some time.

Jaebeom knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep as deep and comfortable as when the other one was by his side. When he was in the arms of his favorite human being, that was just the best for him and nothing could be compared to being able to hear Youngjae's light snoring that swayed him into a tight and restful sleep.

Sometimes he watched him at night, or rather more than often, he wouldn't lie. When he was wide awake while his boyfriend was in a deep slumber since he slept all day which happens to be pretty much all the time. With wide eyes not to miss one change in his beautiful features. Inspecting the gentle smile and Youngjae’s soft expressions whenever he started to purr against his chest was one of his favorite things to do. It always made his heart jump out of his chest when he noticed the corners of Youngjae’s mouth falling down whenever he stopped to make those vibrating sounds just to see them creeping up again as soon as the loud and calming purring left his throat again.

It meant a lot to Jaebeom to have such an influence on his precious lover to make him sleep better and much more comfortable. For Jaebeom it was nothing special to purr anymore whenever he enjoyed something but the amount of joy and comfort it gave the one he loved with such a simple thing made his heart go soft like sweet and sticky candy cotton. He knew Youngjae had bad dreams very often, just like him. And he knew how stressed his day at work was, he could see it on the wrinkles on his forehead whenever he went to bed with his troubled expression. But he was there to help, to make him feel better, and to ease his mind just the way Youngjae did for him.

Fortunately, his eyes were very good at night, like very good. So good that Jaebeom could see very little change in his lover’s face no matter how dark it was, and every time his cheeks became a rosy color did not escape his eyes as well. Maybe he couldn't give him money or do the grocery shopping by himself but he tried to give all his best at home, taking care of the household like a pro. And he knew Youngjae was always glad and relieved to have him, and was satisfied with his efforts, he never missed the chance to let him know. And he was more than thankful for hearing the praises of his lover's mouth which made him beam with pride and joy.

Youngjae never missed a chance to praise him, even about the smallest things, he told Jaebeom how much he liked it and that he needed him a lot. Jaebeom wasn't sure if it was true at first. Youngjae had been alone for some time and could live his life pretty well without him. But he realized, it wasn't just the help in the household or the times he tried to cheer him up when Youngjae had that sad and empty look in his eyes. It was Jaebeom who filled the hole in Youngjae's heart day by day, at least that's what it felt like whenever he could feel the love increasing and shining warmer, with every time he told him the magical three words and with every “I’m glad you came into my life”.

It might sound a bit clingy but Jaebeom couldn't help but feel like this. Now, as he found trust and a loving home in Youngjae’s arms. Being so deeply in love and all these things, caring about someone else's needs more than about his own. Honestly, it was pretty strange at first. But nobody ever before gave him so much love and affection like Youngjae did. Nobody took care of him like he does nor did someone else ever made his heart feel and jump excitingly the way it does with Youngjae. All these things were so new for him. So confusing for Jaebeom as these emotions started to grow. But now, everything was so clear whenever he thought about it. Suddenly, it made sense since that crucial night and he wondered why he was so dumb and blind before that he didn't notice his feelings way sooner. But how should he know, when he was never in such loving hands like Youngjae’s before.

He now knew that's what humans called love which grew to something overwhelmingly strong over the past month. So strong that it nearly healed all of the wounds Jaebeom carried deep inside from being thrown away into the trash just to name out one. Even with the painful memories in the back of his head which made him terrified and scared to the core whenever he had a dream of this certain rainy night, or about all the other scary days before, Youngjae's love made him nearly forget everything from his past. Or at least these memories didn’t hurt as much as they did before anymore since his mind was filled with more pleasant memories by now, pushing away the dark clouds from his past.

Before, he had rolled his eyes whenever movies or books spilled words like "Love can help to heal wounds of the past". But now, as he felt these strong emotions and the healing power by himself, these words just made him nod happily and gazing at his partner with loving eyes. He was smart enough to know love couldn’t heal everything, even if he wished it would be possible but at least it made Jaebeom believe in the good sides of life again and that he was indeed someone who could be loved the way he was and with all his flaws. A little sigh slipped off his lips, a tiny smile grew on them as he realized once again how his life had changed for the good.

Jaebeom went into the kitchen and opened the fridge after the growl of his belly pulled him out of his deep thoughts. It’s been some time since he had lunch and it was already late since he slept so much to avoid feeling the abstinence of Youngjae's laugh in their shared walls. He smiled as he saw the prepared food with the drawn heart, smiling emoji and ‘I love you’ on the plastic foil. And even more, as he noticed it was favorite dish, made with love from his loving owner. He gasped and shook his head slowly, furrowing his brows by the thoughts of using the wrong word for his more than loving partner.

Maybe the past still lingers in the back of his head a little more than he thought since it was such a long time being trapped there. Longer than he was with Youngjae until now, and even longer than he could remember. He hated those times when he dived so deep in his past thoughts because it was so hard for him to come back from these memories, especially when he was alone like today. He wished he could completely forget about it, as if nothing ever had happened but he knew it wasn’t possible, he could just learn to live with it somehow. But he knew the time with Youngjae was good for him, he was the one who made him smile and gave him back the ability to do it wholeheartedly.

His head swayed from left to right, getting rid of the words that just left his lips which surprised him a lot. With a dreamy gaze and warm feeling shining through his eyes, he mumbled to himself after he had shaken off the surprise off his chest. “No… He's not your owner Jaebeom, he is your very loving boyfriend”. A smile growing on his lips as the warm feeling of having a boyfriend and not an owner spread in his body. Yes, it was unfamiliar, even after all these months but with slow steps and much love, they would erase all the demons of the past.

He sat down at the table then, playing around with the wildflower bouquet in the cup in front of him, still a little lost in his thoughts. Youngjae had given him the flowers on the weekend after a cozy day in the park. Since they still didn’t own a proper vase by now, they had to use a blue dotted coffee mug. His favorite one and a rushed gift from Jackson since he found out about Youngjae's birthday just a day before. It was still cute and fitting since Youngjae liked cute cups to drink his tea out of it each morning, and now he had a different colored one for each day of the week.

Jaebeom took one of the flowers out, turning it around between his fingers before he inhaled the sweet scent deeply, making his nose tickle by the flowery scent. Youngjae had looked so cute as he collected all these flowers from the wide meadow in the park secretly, thinking Jaebeom was sleeping on the blanket after the lush picnic they had when he watched him with one eye slightly open the whole time. It was so cute, all these cute little things Youngjae did for him.

And if the flowers had lived their best time in the kitchen water, he would dry and press them to save them in his diary or he would make a nice bookmark out of it. He wasn't sure about what to do with them yet, even if he thought about it a lot in the past days but there were too many possibilities to keep them preserved forever so he was a little unsure which he would do first. Smiling happily by the thoughts and ideas that filled his mind promptly, he started to eat his tasty meal to finally quieten his growling stomach, a sigh leaving his slips as the first bite hit the taste buds of his tongue.

Usually, he would eat his food with a spoon or chopsticks for Youngjae to be proud of him but whenever he was alone he used his fingers to shovel the food into his greedy mouth. Licking his fingers between the bites made the meal somehow tastier even if he wasn't sure why. Maybe because he felt a little wilder like this. It's not that he felt pressured to act human-like since he lived here, it came naturally and Jaebeom liked the side since it was a part of him but he loved his animal side as well, and sometimes he had to let it out.

Jumping around out of the blue, making the other flinch by the odd behavior. Scratching his nails over the brown cartons after he peacefully had slept in them while Youngjae had to search the whole flat for him, or lolling around the whole day was something he did out of his animal needs, and with Youngjae he could let this out as much as he wanted. Unfortunately, it hasn't always been like that. Humans had been so scary for him until he met Youngjae. He was just perfect and so loving and not so strict and commanding, it sometimes made him sob silently into his warm and cozy blanket.

Jaebeom was more than glad Youngjae took him home again since he wasn’t sure in which traps and hands he would have gone after leaving Youngjae’s side. And now that day felt like the most fortunate day of his life, at least before each day became a happy one the moment he was under Youngjae's care again. Four years and seven days, he had counted all of them in his diary, scribbling words of gratitude and love all over the paper sites with drawn hearts and flowers. Two years must have passed since they became a real couple with kissing and all these things couples did. But it still feels so fresh and new for him. Every day is exciting and every day he learns another thing to love about Youngjae. It took both of them some time to realize their feelings for each other. Long after Youngjae had picked him up to care for him. Countless days and weeks had passed by, living side by side without something happening but then...

Whenever Jaebeom thought about it he would blush, just like in this moment. The night, as it happened, was still so clear in his mind and Jaebeom was sure he would never forget about their first kiss and the first touch from Youngjae's palm against his heated cheek. He still remembers the soft moonlight illuminating Youngjae's face, making his features look even more gentle than they already were. And with his skilled eyes at night, he could see the equal soft blush on Youngjae's cheeks so well as he leaned closer to seal their lips in a chaste kiss. Sometimes Jaebeom was a little mad at himself that he didn't confess sooner but better late than never, knowing how they would stay together until their last days. The thought of their first kiss still made his cheeks flush and his heart and mind go all mushy. For him, it was still something special, something precious he never wanted to forget the memory about.

Jaebeom slurped his delicious food until the last drop sauce and finished his homemade strawberry milk with a satisfied sigh leaving his lips. He even licked the plate clean since it was so damn tasty, his cheek burning warm and red as he imagined Youngjae cooking just for him while humming to the radio with the yellow striped apron around his waist and chest. He knew this sight so well, always watching him whenever he was awake since Youngjae would do it pretty early in the morning, too early for him to be up. But sometimes he had luck, watching him with a gentle gaze on his face how skillfully Youngjae could use the knife when Jaebeom still struggled with it a little, admiring how he could swivel the food in the pan without dropping just a bit of content on the stove.

Jaebom was a good cook as well but his meal variety wasn’t as wide as Youngjaes but never did he complain about it. Fish fingers with potato puree and peas were his favorite thing to serve and spaghetti with tomato sauce was the second one he could do without problems. Since he spent some time looking through cooking books in the past days, he would try some new dishes soon but he would firstly only cook them for himself until they were perfectly fine and ready for Youngjae to try.

He stroked over his tummy, still a soft smile on his lips as he licked his greasy tuna oil-smeared lips. “That was good” he breathed out but felt the heaviness in his belly since he ate the food too fast again. Waiting until he was beyond hungry was never a good idea since it made his belly hurt after but sometimes he couldn't get himself off the couch even if he was starting to get hungry. Still, he would have loved to call Youngjae just to tell him he enjoyed the food so much, but he knew both of them would get sad when they would hear their voices without being side by side. And he didn't want Youngjae to be sad ever again because of him, knowing he already had a hard time leaving him alone for a whole night.

It was already 1:31 am as he checked the clock in the living room, the red shining numbers yelling at him why he was up until so late. But there was nothing he could do when his favorite human wasn't by his side to sing softly and pet his head gently until he would fall asleep. Jaebeom stretched his body, shaking his legs a little which felt numb from sitting on a chair to eat. Sometimes it was still strange for him, these human things and why they sat on hard and wooden plates when they could sit on the floor instead since he saw no sense in buying all these things just to sit on them. But Youngjae didn’t want Jaebeom to eat out of a bowl on the cold tiles and that was something he could understand after Youngjae had told him his reasons. After some time, Jaebeom would always understand the other and he appreciated all the explanations Youngjae gave him, and how they made his life a little nicer.

Jaebeom never minded before though, it was the way he learned it to be for many years, it was hard to get it out of his mind and body again. He hid his flushed face behind his hands as he remembered his behavior from the beginning. Where he couldn't be tamed since Youngjae was too nice and calm to be respected in his eyes and where he acted pretty wild, still trapped in his past and the feeling of being caged. Where Jaebeom scratched and bit the other's fingers and arms because he was so scared of these humans which caused so much harm before. And where he peed on the carpet out of frustration and anger about humans and their previous actions.

But these days were over for quite some time. Nevertheless, he was still ashamed about his actions and all the pain he had caused. But what counted was that now, he was a good boy, and sometimes Youngjae allowed him to sit on his lap while he fed him with Jaebeom’s favorite can of tuna and with gentle kisses all over his cheek when he had been a very good boy on that day. It was the best place to sit, Jaebeom wouldn't deny it nor would he ever exchange it for another place to be. Even the place on his soft and cozy blanket by the window with the warm and gentle sun couldn't be compared with his boyfriend’s lap.

He looked around with a yawn on his lips, his ears and tail shaking as a wave of tiredness spread through his whole body. His eyes already felt a little hurt and tired but he still felt restless and wasn't sure where to sleep the best, since it was such a warm and humid night. But even with the sweaty feeling on his skin and the annoying mosquito bites since he had such sweeter blood than humans, Jaebeom liked the summer so much because there was all the sun he could warm himself in. But sometimes the air was too sticky and too hot for his liking and to fall asleep immediately. Like it was on this Wednesday night. Unfortunately, he didn't like the cold breeze from the air conditioner since it made his throat feel hoarse and his sensitive ears hurt, so he had to live with the humid air that filled the summer night with a heavy weight.

Jaebeom’s loose shirt, or more the shirt he stole from Youngjae's laundry box, was sticking to his sweaty chest a little unpleasant. He could take shower, he knew how it worked but he shivered by the pure thought of it. Just with Youngjae, he would like to get wet in the bathroom, he was the only thing that made it bearable. Just with him it was enjoyable to splash in the warm and wet water since it meant Youngjae would put sweet-smelling shampoo in his hair and rub his body with his warm and big hands all over. He had to smile again, his eyes disappearing into decreasing moons as goosebumps bloomed all over his body by the thought of it.

Pictures of them in the bath tube flashed in front of his inner eyes. Sure, he could clean himself naturally since it was the way mother nature wanted it to be but no, no, the chance of him and Youngjae playing around with foam between kisses made Jaebeom want to take a long and extended bath tomorrow. Tomorrow, or rather today when he was together with his favorite human being again. He nodded to himself, the plan sounding pretty nice and he knew Youngjae would like it as well especially since he felt the burning feeling in his belly rising.

The thought already made him giddy, chuckling softly just by himself as he wrapped his arms loosely around his upper body to caress softly over his arms, imagining it was his boyfriend touching him as he swayed around to his own humming sounds for a while.

The quietness of the night was filled with the splashes of his naked soles against the tiles, as he walked over to their shared bedroom on the end of the wide hallway. He peeked around the corner, sniffling their mixed scent, closing his eyes by the alluring smell that always clouded his mind so quickly. But today it just made him a little bit-, or pretty much sad. He pouted a little, his bottom lip shaking slightly as he felt the loneliness creeping up in his bones. He would never get used to it though, the fear of being alone in the dark always made him anxious and a little nervous.

At least he was sure Youngjae would always come back to him, and would never leave him behind alone. He was just as attached to him as Jaebeom was to him, just like puzzle pieces that found each other between all these not so fitting ones. It was like they were meant to be, helping each other find their honest smile again and to make wildflowers and colorful blossoms bloom in their chest and hearts, driving out the winter from each other's hearts to make room for a warm and gentle spring. Just like a new beginning for both of them.

In the past, he would have scratched the walls with his nails until they were bloody and would leave stinky watermarks on the light-colored couch. At least that's what he did at the beginning, and with the other humans, he had to stay with which caused him to be hit whenever it happened. But now he was better, he could deal with these emotions pretty well, at least without destroying the whole flat and without peeing on the carpet or somewhere else.

Embarrassment was an understatement when his mind wandered back to these days. Even if the yellow stained carpet was gone long ago, he could still see Youngjae shrubbing the evidence out of the fabric in front of his inner eyes. His heart was clenching painfully as he remembered the soft and gentle ‘It's okay’ and the ‘It’s not your fault’ as Youngjae rubbed the soap over the piece of inventory on the floor whenever his past was too overwhelming and he couldn't deal with the pain and demons in any other way.

Quite to his surprise at the beginning, Youngjae never made him feel bad about it though. He even made Jaebeom his favorite dish to wipe the burning feeling of embarrassment from his cheeks and to distract him from what was happening. Always with a gentle smile on his lips, even if his hands must have burned so bad in the soaped water from all the deep scratches in his skin which he had caused.

Youngjae would never be actually mad at him, he now knew, not as the other's, the mean ones before Youngjae. But he didn't want to see the slight disappointment in his eyes ever again even if it was just once. Like after their huge fight where Jaebeom said things he regretted bitterly afterward. The one time when Jaebeom had been so insanely mad at him for nothing, at least nothing that was real and not just in his insecure and troubled mind. And when Youngjae had to buy half of the inventory again since they all crashed on the floor in thousands of pieces. The reason why they didn’t own a single vase and the reason why Youngjae didn't have a single physical memory of his lost ex-partner. He shook his head quickly. It was time to sleep already and he didn't want to have even more troubles diving into dreamland with painful thoughts like this.

He walked over to the living room. The huge room was the place he was staying at the most since it contained all the electricity things which should help him through boring days. Here he had a huge TV for all his favorite series, the music station he could use to dance through the flat on full volume blasting, and the cozy and comfortable sofa where he and Youngjae spent so many lazy days just to cuddle and kiss. Youngjae really treated him so well, bought things for his entertainment even if he was struggling to pay the bills for his ex-partner's old and huge house they were living in. Youngjae tried to hide it from Jaebeom as much as could, his money problems, since he knew how bad it would make Jaebeom feel but it was more than once he heard the deep sighs after Youngjae had opened another letter and the soft sobs that came out of his workroom through the locked door.

No matter how much he begged him to sell these things, Youngjae never listened, shrugged it off, and patted his head tenderly instead. That's why he tried to use them less often for Youngjae to see he didn’t need them to be happy but sometimes he couldn't help to spend his days watching a series after another when he was alone all day. He was thankful for Youngjae even without all the technical devices. Thankful for every single second he could breathe freely and without a collar around his throat, thanks to him. Every day he thanked him with kisses and words of affection but still, he wished he could do more to heal Youngjae's deep and hurting scars as well.

A choked sound left his lips as he took the picture of them from their little trip to Jeju Island into his little chubby hands, brushing lovingly over Youngjae's features with his fingertips. "I love you so much," he breathed out, his voice a little shaking from emotions that crashed over him. Soft purrs left his chest immediately as he rubbed his single tear wetted cheek over his boyfriend's photographed face. The memories of the sunny day at the white beach floating into his mind, leaving a warm feeling of melancholy behind.

Hopefully, they can go there again, even if he doesn't like water that much. But the tickling sand under his toes, spending time with the one he loved, and Youngjae's smiling and relaxed features when he was bathing in the sun just like him. That's what he liked the most, being happy and relaxed with the person he loved more than anything else. Who needs all these expensive possessions when everything that made him happy was a long hug and soft kisses.

With a heavy sigh leaving his lips, after he wiped away the wet puddle of his tears from the frame, he found his place on the huge windowsill. He liked to wake up in the sunlight that shines through the huge glass wall whenever the sun was greeting him with her warm and cozy embrace. It was such a nice feeling to be warmed by the sun, especially when Youngjae wasn't around to give Jaebeom his love and the warmth of his body. His fluffy tail brushed over his cheek with gentle motions, like his boyfriend would do if he would sleep comfortably on his wide chest.

Jaebeom rolled himself together, snuggling into the baby blue blanket he had and treasured since the beginning, while he inhaled the other's scent deeply, clouding his mind with a dizzy feeling as if he was on catnip. Fortunately, the smell didn't make him go wild and crazy, at least not like he was on catnip but it rather calmed him down and made him feel at ease. And with the thoughts of being in Youngjae's embrace, he fell asleep in a tight slumber, his leg and toes twitching as he dived into his sweet dreams. Dreaming about the man he loved while his tail kept on caressing over his still a little wet cheeks.


	2. I could get lost in your embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so long I'm so sorry. I still hope it's not super boring and someone finds a liking in it.

Youngjae sighed deeply as he ended the call with a heavy heart, or more the message onto the answering machine. He was glad though, that Jaebeom still had trouble picking up the phone in time before the ‘beep’ would end the chance to speak from heart to heart. He knew how whiny his boyfriend could be and how much it would hurt his heart to hear his muffled little sobs, even if Jaebeom always tried to hide them behind the hand over his mouth. 

But Youngjae could still hear them. The sadness between the "It's okay, I understand" and "Don't worry about me". He already felt bad enough about leaving his precious kitten alone again but since he was the one who had to pay all their bills all by himself, he had to work extra hard, wanting to give the other the best life he could have. It's not that he was mad at Jaebeom for staying at home. Rather was it his own selfish wish, even if Jaebeom had begged to do a small and simple mini job. But he wasn't ready for it yet. Not Jaebeom though, he clearly was. It was rather him who couldn't take the thought of the other going out where he could get hurt from others and where he couldn't protect him with all he had.

Youngjae knew it was wrong to keep him just at home when he wasn’t around, and where the only chance to go outside for fresh air was to play around in their huge garden. But he also knew how much pain Jaebeom had experienced in his past and how people kept looking at him with greedy eyes since Jaebeom was such a rare and stunning beauty. How people kept mustering him from head to toe with lusting eyes whenever they went shopping or just out for a walk. It was already normal and Youngjae could just be glad about the fact that nothing else than staring had happened until now but still, it made both of them feel more than uneasy when they just wanted to have a good time together. Jaebeom would always squeeze his hand loads tighter when he noticed them as well, feeling uncomfortable about the looks and stares from gross old men and greasy ladies and Youngjae had to use a lot of time to convince Jaebeom that it wasn't his fault for them to be so nasty. 

But fortunately, not all people were gross and not everyone had prejudices against hybrids or even hated them. He even found a little flower shop around the corner which opened its doors soon after a change between the owners, where Jaebeom could help out from time to time. Youngjae smiled softly as he imagined Jaebeom in the beautifully decorated room, surrounded with different kinds of flowers where he would spend most of the time smelling at colorful buds and roses while his tail would wiggle cutely in the air. He knew about his boyfriend’s love for plants and flowers and he couldn’t wait to tell Jaebeom about his plan to introduce him to the older lady. Youngjae could already imagine his sparkling eyes, his heart filled with love up to the brim by the pure thought of it. But seeing them in reality, was just better than his imagination. He just had to find the right moment to let him know about it. 

He sighed deeply, his hands covering his face as he blushed in a dark red. Since when did he become so cheesy? It was just like that with Jaebeom, he had noticed a long time ago. And sometimes he regretted deeply that he wasn't like that before when he had the chance to shower his lost partner with affection as she had deserved it. It's not like Youngjae had been cold and emotionless towards her or treated her in a bad way, it was just that he was so focused on his medical promotion that he forgot to focus on the important things in life until it was too late.

But whoever had an eye on him and his luck from above gave him another chance, and sometimes Youngjae even though it was her who sent him someone to give and receive love again. More than just once he had looked up to the sky with tear-filled eyes, whispering a soft ‘Thank you’ and a quiet ‘I love you’ into the air and up into the dancing clouds above just to be greeted from a ray of the sunshine which made him sure it was her and her unendingly loving heart.

Usually, he was always pretty soft and caring deep inside of his heart even if he didn't like to show that side of him but the love for Jaebeom made him even softer, as if he brought out long-lost abilities to show his emotions loud and clear. With his second chance, he wanted to live without regents, not just for him and for Jaebeom but also for her as well. 

He sighed deeply, feeling too emotional to be all by himself and alone. He already missed him so much, so much that he wondered how he would survive without him in his life if something would happen. It's been just some hours since he had to be at work but the thought of Jaebeom being alone at homemade Youngjae felt like he failed to be a decent partner but also as if he failed to be a good guardian as well. And this not only was scratching on his human pride but also on his doctor’s heart. 

He laid down on the small mattress with another heavy sigh leaving his throat. The air was a little stuffy and heavy but there was no other place to sleep than the cramped back office they had at work. He stared at the ceiling, his eyes already heavy from the tiredness but the thoughts of the other didn't let him sleep just yet. Fortunately, tomorrow and the day after will be his long-awaited days off from the long shift at the clinic so he could enjoy some free time with his precious boyfriend. 

Maybe they could go for a walk in the park and eat ice cream on the way back home or they could stay at home all day and just be together and by themself. Whatever they would do, Jaebeom would be happy about it anyway, just the way it was also for him. Precious time with each other was everything that was counting for both of them since time together was such a fragile possession. And even a totally lazy day on the couch with the TV playing in the background was something enjoyable to do. Being with Jaebeom made everything so comfortable and enjoyable even if it was a boring round of crossword puzzles while sipping on a hot chocolate with marshmallows.

He signed again as his thoughts wandered to his precious little kitten at home. He could imagine Jaebeom wandering around, being restless without him by his side to sing him to sleep. He wished he could hold him right now, to cuddle with him and to just look at his cute face and his wiggling ears when he was about to dive into sleep. Youngjae missed his warm and squishy body and he missed Jaebeom's soft purrs that always let him sleep so peacefully as well. They were a perfect team. Perfect for each other and more than once, it felt like fate had brought them together on that one cold and rainy night. The missing piece, to glue his heart back together. The last piece he was looking for to give him stability and a reason to honestly and fully live his life again and not only to be there and function like a heartless robot.

It was already a little later into the day as Youngjae finally came home. The bees and bumblebees were already doing their work as he walked over the narrow path of their garden entrance, which led through rose tendrils and high growing sunflowers. His heart was already beating as he saw the old blue door of their cozy home. The pure thought of seeing Jaebeom again, of hugging him tightly made him happy and feel at ease. So much that he needed some extra attempts to find the way for the key into the lock since he was smiling so much, his eyes disappearing by the huge smile on his face and his excitingly shaking hands didn’t help to unlock the door any quicker.

He tried to be extra silent, making small steps on his toes as he walked over to the living room, knowing it was Jaebeom's usual sleeping time so he didn't want to wake him up just now. The radio was playing quietly in the kitchen as he slowly walked through the hallway just to look for him, to fill his heart and mind with his lover's sight. The music told him it was already noon since the apparat would start to play automatically at point twelve o'clock.  
Too late for a nice and lush breakfast in the garden but maybe it’s the perfect time for a tasty ham sandwich on the green meadow under the chestnut tree on the back of their house. 

He found his precious baby on the huge windowsill where he expected him to be. Jaebeom’s favorite place besides his lap of course. The place he always slept whenever he left him home alone overnight, the thought of it hurt his heart a little bit too much. He sat down next to him, slowly and quietly to make sure he wouldn't wake up his lover when his ears were so sensitive with noises. Youngjae's fingertips gently trailed over his soft cheek, brushing a single hair strand out of his face with eyes full of affection. "I'm back my love" he mumbled quietly, even too quiet for Jaebeom's ears to hear, admiring his soft snores with a warm smile on his lips. 

Youngjae could still remember the moment when he found Jaebeom in a small box behind the vet clinic he was working at. Thrown out into the cold autumn night next to a dirty trash can where he was all alone and by himself. His heart clenched by the memories. He was so small and thin back then, his eyes encrusted and without a glow but with Youngjae's love and care Jaebeom went back to a normal weight and his hair became shiny and soft again. 

Sometimes he missed the time where he pebbled Jaebeom up with a bottle full of milk every few hours. Not because he was so helpless, less wild, and relying on him so much back then but because he could see how Jaebeom became literally better and more lively with each day under his care. Jaebeom had been so immensely hungry and so small at this time even if he was a fully grown hybrid, but now he grew into a healthy and fit young man and he was more than glad about the drastic change. 

Sure, there was a time when Jaebeom made his life pretty difficult but he knew Jaebeom's reasons and that's why he didn't want to linger in bad thoughts. What was counting was them being happy with each other now and the rest from their past didn't matter, at least for him. There wasn't a second he regretted taking Jaebeom home with him, even with all the troubles they had, Youngjae somehow felt Jaebeom would bring the sun back into his life if he gave him just more time. 

It must be four years now since he found him in the rain and two years since they lived together as a couple. He couldn't believe that Jaebeom was older than him, just two years but still, he was. But no matter what, he was Youngjae's little baby. With his feline adroitness and his soft and pretty features, Jaebeom looked a little younger and more feminine than him anyway. Not that he cared about the age gap between both of them, he would love him even if he was ten years older. He was just glad Jaebeom was old enough to stay and be with him as a lover since there were rules for living with a hybrid in a relationship. Sure, the majority of the humans didn't care about the rules the government made especially when it came to hybrids but Youngjae was someone who cared about these, for him, important things and wasn't keen on disrespecting the government's wishes, living a simple and maybe boring life without ever breaking the rules just once.

Youngjae caressed through his wonderful brown hair, tangling his fingers in Jaebeom's soft long locks while his gaze rested on him tenderly. The other's skin was still colored in a soft tan from their stay at the farm of his parents. Jaebeom had loved to be there. Being surrounded by nature was his favorite with all the flowers and animals, and Youngjae already played with the thought to move there someday in the near future. 

Fortunately, his parents fell in love with Jaebeom the moment they met him and accepted him into the Choi family immediately. Sure, his parents had their concerns as Youngjae told them about his hybrid lover. And there were countless sleepless nights, wide awake from his worries if they would accept Jaebeom at some point. But as his parents noticed the change for the better in Youngjae life and self, and even more how happy the other made him. It was pretty obvious, even for someone without eyesight. So there was no way his parents could be against their love when all they wanted was just the best for him. And Jaebeom was clearly the best for him. Everyone around them knew. 

First one, then the other fuzzy ear began wiggling so cutely as Youngjae continued to run his fingers through Jaebeom's soft hair. It had gotten so long, framing his beautiful face in such a perfect way. Jaebeom looked beautiful no matter the style of his hair but Jaebeom told him so many times how much he liked it to be so long and how he loved it when Youngjae buried his hands and face in it and he liked it just the same, especially when Jaebeom would style it with a cute little bun between his cute furry ears. His heart made a jump as Jaebeom looked at him with tired eyes, rubbing them with both hands before he looked at him through hooded lids. 

"You are home..." Jaebeom mumbled sleepily and nudged his head against him immediately. The corners of his mouth jumping into a warm and big smile by the sight of his boyfriend finally being at home next to him. The kitten began to purr against his chest right after, the sound vibrating through his body which helped him to relax after just a second. Exactly what he needed after his long and exhausting shift at work. “Yes, I’m home my love, I’m sorry for making you wait for me,” he whispered against Jaebeom’s rosy and sleep-creased cheek, placing warm and soft kisses wherever he could reach with his affection needy lips. It felt so good to be back, every second without having the opportunity to wrap Jaebeom in a tight hug was just too hard to survive for him. 

The purring just got stronger as Youngjae caressed under his boyfriend’s chin. Just the way he liked it to be, only with his fingertips which tickled the soft baby hair on his purring throat, using a little bit more pressure of his fingers from time to time. But he couldn't help pouting a little as Jaebeom avoided making eye contact with him. Youngjae was about to whine, feeling like he could be welcomed a tiny bit more cheerful after all these painfully hard hours of being separated until something shifted in his brain. A light in the dark, a flipped switch, a sudden notice that made him feel a little bad about his childish thoughts. 

Youngjae lifted his chin with his index finger, making him look up into his eyes as he tilted his head to follow Jaebeom’s swerving gaze. And now Youngaje noticed it clearly. How the air was filled with the undertone of sweet strawberry as Jaebeom's brown and fluffy tail wavered in the air, making him wonder why he didn't notice sooner that Jaebeom’s heat had arrived overnight. “Is it your cuddle time again?" he asked softly, his voice low to sound even more gentle and understanding, knowing how shy Jaebeom still was about it. 

A soft kiss found a way on Jaebeom's cute little button nose, which made the other scrunch his nose and roll his eyes. Youngjae knew he liked it, even if he acted differently about the warm gesture right now. But Jaebeom had whispered countless nights before how much he does whenever he gave him a good night kiss on his adorable nose. And even without speaking these words out loud, he could see it in the rosy tint on his cheeks whenever he did it, like so many times before. Sometimes Jaebeom was so easy to see through, the color in his cheeks and the glowing in his eyes were always evidence for his likings. 

It was a lot of effort to make Jaebeom feel more comfortable to speak about things like his heat and what he liked or what he didn’t like but it definitely got better, especially since they could communicate without words by now. Sure, Youngjae knew about hybrid facts before but it had been still a little hard to read the other when he took Jaebeom home back then but of course, he could understand why. So he was more than happy and grateful that it got better after time. Every step, even the smallest one, flowed into a celebration in his head with no one but himself, knowing it would probably pressure Jaebeom if he would do it verbally.

Jaebeom nodded, his cheeks blushed with a warm rosy color as he looked at him with pleading eyes between the bumps of his head against Youngjae's arm. It was so cute. Jaebeom was so extra cute whenever it was time again for him to get a little more affectionate than he already was. Even after the time of being together, Jaebeom honestly wasn't so good at talking about emotions that bothered him or made him feel unwell, and being in his heat was one of them. It took them a long time until they became comfortable enough to speak about problems, emotions, and worries. Not that he was any better to talk about these things but Jaebeom was worse than him due to the troubles he had before. Youngjae was just glad about every little victory and how they continuously worked on their relationship for it to become better and more comfortable for both of them.

"I'm so sorry that I had to leave you alone with this, come here... come on my lap, my love," Youngjae murmured with a soft and gentle voice, patting his legs for the other to sit onto. Jaebeom obeyed immediately, following his words to find a place on Youngjae's middle with a loving smile on his face. It must look funny for people around them when they were a bit affectionate in public since Youngjae was a little smaller than Jaebeom but he couldn't care less. He loved to feel the weight from his lover on his lap and loved to caress his smooth skin no matter of their size difference. What others would think of them was nothing that was important to him anymore anyway. It’s their life and as long as both were happy, no one else should open their filthy mouth again.

They get lots of stares when they are outside, holding hands and showing how much they love each other naturally since there is no way they could ever deny it. Youngjae could not understand why some others would keep hybrids just like their slaves. It never made sense for him nor made it sense to keep other animals in cramped places without giving them food and love and everything else they needed to live a fulfilling life. But he was more an animal person anyway. In their presence, he found more comfort than he ever did with people. It took him ages to get close enough with someone until he would call them his friend especially after he lost his ex-partner who was the only person he was close with besides his parents for years. 

He wasn’t the best at doing small talk and all the other things others valued when they got to know someone new. Just Jackson, he grew to like over the time they worked together since he had no chance but to talk to Jackson due to his very lively but loving character. But even if it took a while, now they were going out for dinner many times, and with Jackson, he could talk about everything and share his worries. Especially after he found out he had a hybrid partner just like him. It helped him a lot to understand more about Jaebeom’s needs and fortunately both of their partners got along very well which was a huge relief.

"I missed you so much my love," he whispered against Jaebeom's fluffy ear as his fingertips brushed over his naked arm with circling motions. Jaebeom snuggled his head into the crook of Youngjae’s neck immediately, getting as close as possible to feel his warmth to recharge his low batteries. It never failed to amaze Youngjae how soft Jaebeom's skin was. He loved to trail his fingers over his warm and milky skin, loved feeling the soft baby hairs under the pads of his fingers, wishing to kiss him all over just to feel all of his softness under his lips as well. He could spend hours, days, and maybe months just kissing and brushing his fingers over Jaebeom's warm and soft skin without ever getting bored of it. Not that he tried before but he was sure it must be the heaven on earth.

And he loved to look up to watch Jaebeoms expression, just to find him already looking at him with a warm and loving glow in his brown eyes. It’s been so long since he felt like this, that he fell for someone, but with Jaebeom in his life, he finally felt truly happy and content again. They had both been through so much pain and anxious days and even if they couldn't support each other in their darkest times, it helped to have someone to heal old wounds and having someone to come home again. Even if they just met because of unfortunate strokes of fate, he grew to feel a little bit more at ease by now about the pain in his chest. It still hurt, sometimes more than on other days, and Youngjae was sure it would probably never fade for both of them but it was easier, easier to live with all this when he felt Jaebeom’s hand on his own.

Now he knew he could find happiness again even if the world seemed so dark and without a sense before and it was more than a relief for Youngjae to be able to feel again and not to live with the feeling of being a lifeless robot. Jaebeom never really told him what happened before they met and he wouldn’t push him to talk with him even if he knew it might help Jaebeom. But at least Jebeom agreed on meeting an old colleague from his university days who was specialized in overcoming-trauma therapy. And from his own experiences, he knew his friend could help, even if it was just a little bit. 

It was a little hard to convince his friend to take care of Jaebeom as he did with him. Again, the world was full of prejudice and fear of being judged to care for hybrids but fortunately, Youngjae found a way to change his old classmates' mind and to convince him to at least take a look at his partner. Even if he heard many awful stories about mean hybrids, especially about cats, who scratched the people who kept them or turned their flat into a mess, he was sure it's never the hybrids' fault. That's why he never really blamed Jaebeom for his behavior and wanted to help him as much as he could. 

Sure, there were some with a wild temper but wasn’t that just normal? No matter what, nothing would change Youngjae’s mind that it was the humans’ fault for not treating them the right way like they deserved it to be. It took Youngjae so much time, love, and patience to help Jaebeom to calm down his fear-related temper, and now he was such a calm and cuddly feline. So much that he sometimes wondered if it was he was the same person he was living with or if a twin replaced him. 

But no, there was no chance for it since Youngjae would recognize his lovely kitten even with a blindfold on but sometimes he teased Jaebeom a little playfully with it, still knowing when he had to stop. But now, after all the problems in the beginning, he had so much luck with Jaebeom. Sure they had their little fights and sometimes Jaebeom went a little wild in their house but Youngjae would never be mad at him, knowing the other had his reasons and his nature to behave like this. 

Jaebeom's eyes were still filled with a little bit of sleep as he looked up into his eyes. Still, Youngjae could see their usual glow from his heat sparkling in his wood brown orbs. "I missed you too..." Jaebeom whispered hotly against his skin, pulling Youngjae fully out of his thoughts and reminding him of his existing heat. Jaebeom gave his cheek a small kiss before he started to lick all over his face in small motions. Just gentle touches of his tongue but yet, it felt like electric sparks were striking against his heated cheek. 

Goosebumps were blooming all over his body whenever Jaebeom’s wet tongue met his skin even if they just barely touched, and even more as he licked over his skin with a long wet stripe. It felt so good, even if Jaebeom’s sticky saliva stuck all over his face by now. Not that he minded, not that he cared, he had other liquids on him before anyway and even found himself enjoying them, or at least most of them.

He had to admit, it was loads different to be with a hybrid than with a human being. Wilder than anything before but maybe Youngjae just felt like that since he had been so reluctant in bed before. Just one position and nothing else besides, but now he was sometimes surprised about himself, his sometimes lewd thoughts, and his doings when it came to the things they did in between the sheets, or well, somewhere else.

"I missed you… so… so… much…" Jaebeom whispered, almost whining between kisses and wet licks over his face until he found Youngjae's lips for another, longer kiss. He couldn’t contain the smile as their mouths finally met after hours of being without them touching. Jaebeom's alluring sweet scent filled his nose now more prominent as he wiggled his tail excitingly in the air, seeming pretty happy about the loving kiss as well. As if Youngjae needed to smell the heavy strawberry scent, which Jaebeom releases naturally to attract a possible partner, for him to get aroused. He was already half-hard in his pants, feeling the precum wetting his underwear as Jaebeom started to roll his hips against his crotch so teasingly slow but with much pressure to get some friction for his own down there as well. 

Youngjae buried his face in the crook of Jabeom’s neck to hide his blush, wrapping his arms around Jaebeom’s body to feel him even closer. He would be embarrassed about the problem in his pants if it wasn’t so long ago since they did it the last time. Even with the times, he jerked himself off in the office’s bed to a naughty self-made video from their trip to Jeju, it's been a while since he found his own release, too busy and tired from his workload at the clinic. 

His thoughts wandered back to the date of origin of their little dirty video material. Jaebeom naked, tan lines on his usual milky white skin, legs spread wide open just for him while his little cock rested so beautifully on his soft belly… a view made out of his wildest dreams. He shouldn't think about it in this moment. Not now, when Jaebeom was right in front of his eyes and in reality. And much more, when he was about and so close to dirty his pants without being even touched fully.

Youngjae opened his lips with pleasure to give Jaebeom the access to lick into his mouth, moaning softly as their tongues met for their intimate dance to start. Their lips melted into each other, sucking on Jaebeom's bottom lip teasingly while his hands stroked over his soft chest in a gentle way. Jaebeom shivered under his palm and Youngjae could feel his small buds rising under the damp white shirt as he stroked over his wide chest. Jaebeom was just so easy to get worked up and it made him feel a little better about his own desperate state he was trapped in. 

"I thought we could take a walk in the park since the weather is so sunny and warm… Maybe with some ice cream from the Italian cafe? " Youngjae whispered, cupping his cheek gently as he looked into his warm eyes. He couldn't help but smile as he saw Jaebeom's growing eyes, nodding eagerly as the word " ice cream" fell off his lips. Gently, he brushed a single hair strand out of Jaebeom's face, tucking it between his ears while he brushed his thumb over Jaebeom's glowing cheek. 

"Ice cream and park sounds perfect… bu.. but not now right? Not yet…" Jaebeom mumbled with a shaking breath against his skin when he nibbled on Youngjae’s jaw and sucked there slightly. 

"No not yet, I missed you so much as well and I still need some more cuddles and many more kisses so don’t worry" he whispered with closed eyes to enjoy the soft pressure of Jaebeom’s teeth against his skin.

Youngjae loved whenever Jabeom was melting under his touch, knowing he was just the same whenever Jaebeom decided to kiss over his body with his soft and perfect lips as well. He had spent hours and months studying them, his lips and maybe everything else on Jaebeom’s captivating body, every small detail was just so fascinating, Youngjae could write endless books with praises and love letters about the beauty of his lover’s body and soul. 

Sometimes, he outlined Jaebeom’s beautiful cupid bow with his fingertip when Jaebeom was asleep, their skins barely touching just light like a feather or like the flutter of a butterfly's wings. Early in the morning, whenever Jaebeom was in a deep slumber, unable to pull away from his touch since he always complained that it tickled him whenever Youngjae contoured his beautifully swung and rosy lips in an awake state. He was just perfect, even with all his imperfections he was everything Youngjae could have wished for. 

It had been a little embarrassing for Youngjae as they started to sleep with each other. How quickly he came, how long he had to rest between their rounds when Jaebeom was already wet again or even whenever a lewd and loud moan left his lips. But now, these things weren't important anymore. If he came too early they would just keep it going in another way, Jaebeom's hunger to be pleased was insatiable anyway. 

And now he just rolled with it, got used to the fact that it's okay to be loud in bed and he enjoyed how easier it now got for him to start another round and maybe just another one right after since his hunger to feel Jaebeom more than once grew stronger in him as well. It felt like he had to catch up from his past years without it, even if he never thought he missed it so much. But maybe it was Jaebeom again. Him with his teenage-like behavior and the alluring smell that made him feel young and so damn needy again. Whatever it was, he liked it and wouldn't change it for something else. 

Slowly, Youngjae's hand caressed over his lover's warm chest, his head resting on Jaebeom's shoulder while a dreamy smile grew on his face. It was his favorite thing to do, to play around Jaebeom's small nipples with his thumb, circling the brownish bud with his digit while adding some pressure to get another muffled moan in response. 

“You don’t have to hold back… okay?” Jaebeom mumbled, his voice muted by hand over his mouth to lessen the intensity of his soft moans.

“And you don’t have to hold back your moans and everything else as well, okay? You know how much I like them right? It’s just us… you and me...” Youngjae gave back in a soft tone and smiled as he got a shy nod in return before he finally took the hand off Jaebeom’s lips to let all the sounds out that left his throat. 

Unfortunately, until now he was reduced just to touch his clothed chest but Youngjae wanted it that way. He wanted to savor their slow and gentle play until they were unable to hold back their hands and the need to feel each other's naked skin against each other. It was their usual game and no matter how many times they played it nor how desperate he was, there wasn’t a second he felt tired of extending the time until their bodies would melt into each other completely naked and bare. 

The air was heavily filled with Jaebeom’s scent, it nearly took his breath away as he tried to get some clear air into his lungs, breathing heavily while the arousal tied his chest even more tightly. “You didn’t touch yourself, right? You waited just for me…” he mumbled against Jaebeoms fuzzy ear, breathing out the words against his heated and sweat-sticking skin. Youngjae's lips trailed further over his warm skin, kissing and licking over his neck as he waited patiently for an honest answer. 

Of course, he knew already, he knew him all too well but he had wanted to hear it from his own lips. With closed eyes, he slid his tongue over Jaebeom's skin further up on his throat until he found the way up to his chin, sucking on it slightly with a small smile on his lips. He could taste the salt of Jaebeom's sweat on his tongue, Jaebeom's heavy swallowing felt even more intense now that he could feel it under his sensitive tongue, Youngjae’s eyes fluttering under his lids as he bit his lip to swallow down another moan that wanted to escape. 

It was his favorite taste, feeling and tasting his lover like that would never leave him calm behind. It wasn't just the feeling under his fingers or tongue nor the intoxicating scent, Jaebeom was just his favorite everything. Everything was so special about him and everything became even more special when he experienced it with him. Every moment, every kiss, and every memory they created together. He was so heart-wrecking beautiful and unique in Youngjae's eyes that he wondered why he didn’t notice it sooner, before Jaebeom's confession and long before their first kiss. Even when he knew it was because he forbade himself to fall in love again, and denied his feelings for so long, he wished his mind would have let him taste the self-forbidden fruit sooner.

Jaebeom could just nod eagerly. “No, I didn’t… I slept the whole day to wait for you to help me with my problem,” he said quietly and nudged his cheek tenderly against Youngjae’s, their rosy cheeks brushing against each other and Youngjae could feel the warmth radiating from them so obviously strong. Of course, he waited just for him. For his hands, his kisses, for his cock to fill him up and paint his walls with his white color and to give him the salvation he needed to calm his burning inner down. He gasped heavily as Youngjae's hand slid under the shirt, feeling the heated skin burning under his palm now skin against skin without restriction. 

Jaebeom was so damn sensitive to every yet so small touch and even more when he was in his heat. It was so cute and yet so arousing that Youngjae could just use his fingers all over his body to make him spill his load. Even if Youngjae was embarrassed about himself being so quick to release, in Jaebeom's case it was just more than cute for him. And he enjoyed each and every time whenever Jaebeom moaned out his name every time he came until he was breathing heavily, telling him it was finally enough to calm the burning fire down which flamed deep down his innards.

But honestly, it was still a little convenient for Youngjae that Jaebeom could come from his fingers, his kisses, and his mouth and not just from his cock since he still needed a little more time to get hard again even after all the exercise to be quicker with recovering. But not even once he felt that Jaebeom gave him the feeling it was something to be embarrassed about and Youngjae couldn't be more thankful to be in such understanding arms. 

He took his time to trail his fingertips over Jaebeom's soft belly. Shivers made Jaebeom shake on his lap and Youngjae couldn't help but smile again how sensitive his precious lover was. Youngjae lifted up his shirt, noticing immediately that it was his own used one as he slid his head under the loose sitting fabric. He couldn't see much, the sun barely found the way under the thicker texture of the dark shirt but he knew every millimeter of Jaebeom’s skin by heart anyway. Every yet so small mole, every still so pale scar, every part of his body was saved in his mind, engraved there to stay forever, ready to kiss every spot that made him whimper, even by night without cat-like eyes. 

“You are so beautiful… so damn beautiful my love,” he whispered as he kissed the soft skin of Jaebeom’s chest, slowly further over his collarbone and wide shoulder since there was enough place to leave a satisfying amount of kisses and soft bites. Youngjae's hand was resting on Jaebeom’s hips to keep him there in place, circling the soft skin over the hem of his pants with his thumbs while he continued to trail his lips over his shaking body. It wouldn't be the first time for him to save Jaebeom from falling down off his lap. Jaebeom could be a twitching mess whenever Youngjae pressed the right points with the right amount of pressure, making him jump so cutely with just small and simple touches.

Jaebeom wrapped his arms around Youngjae's covered head, pushing him closer against his burning skin as Youngjae's fingers made their way further up to meet his hard and erect nips, now without the fabric under his fingers, feeling him burning right under his fingertips. Jaebeom was already moaning out his name when he even barely touched him, asking for more with a shaking voice which was barely understandable due to his lewd whining. It was so cute, so hot and he couldn't believe that Jaebeom never got tired of their little games, not even before he knew Jaebeom's weak spots and how to make him moan out loud with pleasure. 

He wasn’t very skilled in the beginning, since he never slept with a man before and wasn't that experienced in general but he learned a lot, read about things whenever he was alone in his office bed, and found out what made his lover scream and shake. Even yet, he tried to get better and better, tried to give more and more with every time Jaebeom begged him to take him right and hard, sometimes scared he would find a better lover who lasted longer, even if he knew Jaebeom would never leave him. He knew it was needless and stupid to think this way, they were meant to be with each other Youngjae was sure about it just as much Jaebeom was. But the fear of losing a precious person again was something he probably could never shake off his shoulders, so the little voice in the back of his head couldn’t be eliminated fully.

Soft moans found the way into his ear and he could feel how Jaebeom desperately tried to rub his crotch against his own hard one, trying to get more friction than yet but Youngjae was too occupied to play around his nips to give in just yet. They had time, so much time to play around, to explore each other's body as if it was the first time, he wouldn't give in and wrap his hand around his waiting cock just yet.

Slowly, he took Jaebeom’s nipple between his little rough fingers, pinching and pulling the tip just the moment he took the other one between his lips and teeth. Jaebeom gasped, his hands grabbing for Youngjae’s hair to tug on it firmly, whining when his hand just grabbed the fabric of the shirt. “Beomie…. it's okay,” he cooed sweetly, licking over his nipple with a wet stripe before he wrapped his lips around his little tit, sucking it in with his hot and wet mouth while his hand cupped the other one, groping the soft flesh a little harder which made Jaebeom's shaking body nearly fell off his lap. 

He wrapped his arm around his waist tighter, giving him support to continue to play their game a little longer, sucking and biting the little hill of his breast as if he would get milk out of it if he just sucked hard enough. The oxygen became thin under the shirt, Youngjae's lungs already hurting from the lack of air as he let go of Jaebeom's nipple with a wet 'plop'. He gasped for oxygen like a fish on land as he came out of the cave he was hiding in before, his gaze resting on Jaebeom's red and sweaty face to see the impact of his actions while he tried to calm down his heavy breathing. 

And god, it was even more breathtaking for him to look at Jaebeom's beautiful features than being trapped under a thick shirt or while floating underwater. No matter how many times Youngjae had the view of him being painted in red like that, he would never get enough of his favorite picture, his favorite sight, and his favorite person until he would make his last breath. Jaebeom was stunning. Every part of his body was as if it was formed by someone who knew how to build a sculpture made in heaven, a blessed artist, maybe it was God himself who created a masterpiece which was not appreciated as it should be until Youngjae found it abandoned on the street. 

Maybe Jabeom had been unfinished and pretty broken before but now as he was under Youngjae’s palms, he wanted to do everything to help him to become whole again, or maybe even for the first time ever. And he would help Jaebeom to glue all the broken pieces back together, erasing all the dust and cracks until he felt complete and unmitigated again, just the way Jaebeom had helped him to make his own pain-filled chest feel less hurtful and overwhelming. 

It was hurting his heart so much whenever Jaebeom thought he was not good enough to be with him. Because of a stupid broken glass, a burned dish because he forgot it in the oven, or when the ice cream fell out of his hand because he was excitedly running behind a butterfly, trying to catch him with his bare hands. As if these things were important. Things, possessions, money. They have no worth when the most precious belonging in his life was Jaebeom. How could he make him understand? Show him that he was the only thing he was scared to lose. He just had his words, his kisses, and his love to give, his unconditional love that was filling up his whole body but how could he show him, make him understand. One day Jabeom would understand, hopefully, maybe when he finally found the courage to give him the small golden ring that he kept in his inner pocket for so long.

Jaebeom's heavily lidded eyes gazed at him hungrily while he waited patiently for Youngjae to give him more. Drool was sparkling on his agape lips while his tongue stuck out of his pretty mouth as Jaebeom was still gasping out for air. A sight that was just meant to be seen of him, created from Youngjae and no one else. Jaebeom's lewd face and expression were a total piece of art. Formed by Youngjae's hands to look this wrecked, the rosy color on his cheeks painted by his licks his fingers and he couldn't wait to paint him with his color, drawing purple marks on his milky white skin and signing the canvas with his liquid signature when he was finished. Jaebeom was just perfect for him. His muse, his reason to finally see the light and the beauty in life again, which he thought he would have lost completely before he met his missing puzzle piece again.

Another muffled moan left Jaebeom's lips as he twisted the bud a little more, his length growing harder and harder with each sound that left Jaebeom's perfect lips. Jaebeom buried his fingers in his softly curled hair, pulling it slightly as he crashed his lips against Youngjae's chapped ones. Jaebeom loved it to kiss, needed it like he needed the air to breathe, he knew it all too well. He sucked on Youngjae's bottom lip, greedy as if he sucked on a bottle full of sweet milk to ease the thirst that must be burning in his body due to his heat. 

Starting gently, Jaebeom used his teeth, biting Youngjae's lip a little bit too much to get a moan out of him to slide his tongue inside, finally exploring the wet depths he had longed for. Youngjae nearly choked by the rough intruder when Jaebeom pushed his tongue a little too deep into his depths, pressing his face against Youngjae's even more as he tilted his head to go as deep as possible. He must have really missed him, he thought but at this moment he couldn’t feel all too bad about it, not when Jaebeom was so desperate to be touched like he was right now. 

It was wet, sloppy, and should be disgusting with all the sweat and spit but damn he loved it. He loved the lewd sounds of their lips crashing together just as much as he loved the sounds of his hips against Jaebeom's ass. He loved the way Jaebeom moaned just from kissing as if he was already deep inside and he loved to taste Jaebeom's sweet spit on his tongue as if it was his favorite meal, which probably was the truth. 

It became his favorite taste, Jaebeom's sweet and fruity scent, even if he didn't really like strawberries before. But Jaebeom's slick and spit was something else, it nearly made him addicted to the point he would slide his finger inside just to get a taste of him, licking his finger as if it was his favorite dish. He became so lewd, so addicted to feeling Jaebeom's body under him, that he sometimes wondered what was wrong with him and when he became so naughty. But Jaebeom liked it though, initializing it most of the time when he rubs his face over his crotch or when he sits on his lap while rolling his hips with hooded and lusting eyes. Youngjae didn’t mind, it calmed him down, made him feel so good whenever he could make Jaebeom feel good as well. 

"You are so beautiful… so gorgeous Beomie" Youngjae whispered, his eyes hooded with affection and want as Jaebeom started to grind his crotch against his clothed length a little harder. His mouth slightly agape to spill more of these whimpers and whines as Youngjae's used more pressure against his already sore nipples. He loved to play with them and he loved, even more, to suck on them and biting them gently. He pulled Jaebeom's shirt up, his red and abused nipples greeting him, standing upright into the stuffed air. "So beautiful" he cooed another time as he slowly leaned against Jaebeom's chest to take one of them between his teeth again. They must be sore and they must hurt by now but Jaebeom could just beg and ask for more when his saliva eased the pain at least a little bit. 

Youngjae took his time and trailed his lips over his jaw, leaving butterfly kisses on Jaebeom's heated skin as he kissed his way to his throat, Jaebeom's head fell into his neck as he continued his path over the soft skin. The purring became louder as he licked over his neck with a wet stripe, feeling the soft vibrations under his tongue which grew louder as he cupped Jaebeom's bottom cheeks with his big hands. With a slow-motion he pulled the feline closer to his middle, rolling his hips against him while his breath became heavier by the friction against his dick. 

Jaebeom's words swept into his clouded mind, his head feeling dizzy from the sweet smell and his own arousal that grew bigger in his pants. "I need you…" he breathed out, eyes dark with desire as he licked over his dry lips. By these words, Jaebeom rubbed his flushed face against his cheek, his tail already wiggling out of excitement as Youngjae nodded his head eagerly in return. Jaebeom gasped for air again, his hands grabbing into Youngjae's hair and shoulder, moaning out whimpers and pleads as he tried to rub his dick against Youngjae's leg to finally make him understand how desperate he was to get his release. It was a little funny to see him so desperate, rubbing his little hard cock against his legs while he breathed out heavily. Youngjae could feel him all so well, so hard, so heavy, it must be burning red by now while spilling white drops of pre-cum which made Youngjae just even more aroused.

"Please… I need you so much, it's been so long without you... " he looked at Youngjae with a pleading face, making his heart clenched by the sight of it. Indeed, it had been a long time without them sleeping with each other. It's not like both weren't in the mood, they were longing for each other pretty bad, it's just that Youngjae had to do more extra shifts since his colleague Jackson had been sick with a broken arm for weeks. Sleeping with Jaebeom was great and he needed it to be concentrated at work. Feeling him under himself was just the best but Youngjae had been too tired in the last days but now with Jaebeom's heat rising they had a reason to finally be intimate again. 

He slid his hand between their crotches, palming Jaebeom with a gentle grip around his hardening member. He could feel him growing under the fabric of his thin shorts, Jaebeom soft whimpers filling his clouded mind. "So hard already…" he breathed out, circling his thumb around the tip while he watched Jaebeom nod frantically with rosy cheeks. Shivers went through Jaebeom from head to toe, whimpering by every movement of his skilled hand. Watching Jaebeom fall apart under his hands would never fail to let his heartbeat harder in his chest. He was just so sensitive, so easy to please and so cute while being sensual at the same time when he gasped for air while he rolled his hips against his palm, trying to get more friction against his twitching length. 

Honestly, he could take Jaebeom right on the spot, his hard and leaking cock already pressing against his tight jeans, making him feel a little uneasy by the restriction of his pants. But again, he wanted to take his time, savoring their time together now that they finally had more time together since tomorrow was his day off. 

Youngjae kissed up his chin and jaw, peppering his soft features with kisses until he reached Jaebeom's ear. "You are so beautiful…" he breathed hotly into Jaebeom's ear as he slid his hand into his sports pants, humming approvingly as he felt the bare hardness under his fingers. "So pretty…" he cooed sweetly as he looked at Jaebeom's warped face, the drool nearly running down his chin when they had just started. He stopped the stripe of spit from running down his chin with his tongue, wiping away the sweet saliva before it could drop down from his lewd face.

Another approving hum slipped from his lips as he felt the slight spasm from his lover as he moved his palm faster against him, circling his thumb over his tip with a little bit more pressure. Jaebeom grabbed his shoulders just after, his nails digging into Youngjae's skin as he came closer to his long-awaited height. Youngjae could feel it, knowing the exact way Jaebeom's eyes would roll into the back of his head whenever he was about to come, the twitching of his right leg was another sign of it. “Cum for me baby,... It’s okay...”

He loved it, loved to see Jaebeom fall apart through his hands, his cock, or whatever he gave to him. Youngjae just couldn't believe it. He, the shy and boring one, could bring someone else so much pleasure, it was just too damn good for him to see his lover spill his load, feeling high on it as if it was his own orgasm. 

The sharp pain of Jaebeom's fingernails on his skin made him flinch a little, pulling him out of his daze when a long-drawn moan left his lover's lips as his hot load spilled right into his waiting palm. He kept stroking him slowly, kept guiding him through his orgasm while he caressed over his back until his body became less tense under his loving touch. 

Youngjae pulled his hand out of Jaebeom’s small pants, his fingers glistering in the soft midday sunlight as he finally freed them into the humid air. Their eyes were locked, their breath still heavy as Jaebeom took his hand with tired eyes before he sucked Youngjae's fingers clean with his greedy mouth, his tongue dancing around his digits as he tried to lick every precious drop off them. First just one, then the second, and so on disappeared between his kiss-swollen lips until Youngjae's fingers and palm were clean as if nothing had happened before. 

Youngjae watched him the whole time, biting his lips and gnawing on them as if he felt betrayed to just watch and not being able to get a taste himself, his eyes glowing dark under the hooded lids with jealousy. He couldn't help but pout, knowing Jaebeom would understand him being a little upset in his position if he would eat Jaebeom's favorite thing right in front of his eyes. 

Jaebeom had stolen, robbed, the chance to get a taste of what he had longed for all day and night. Usually, it was Youngjae to suck him off when his heat was starting, to get a quick release without much hassle, to taste his sweet taste on his tongue since it was his favorite. It wasn’t like he was mad, he could never, not because of this but it became an unspoken rule that it was his duty to clean the mess Jaebeom made whenever they were intimate.

He cupped his cheek, his tongue darting right between his lips as soon as he had the chance for it. He moaned, heavily, as their tongues danced passionately in their wet depts, sucking and roaming around as if it was the first time he could take a look around. “I was looking forward to getting a taste. Next time I will eat the rest of your favorite frosting in exchange.” He whispered against Jaebeoms lips, his mouth jumping into a smile as he could feel Jaebeom’s little pout against his lips.

Youngjae had to smile about his own behavior. Feeling a little whiny about the missed chance to eat Jaebeom’s release was nothing new for them. It was just for fun, Jaebeom knew it since they joked and laughed a lot while having sex but it would be like he had stolen the sweet cream coated whisk right out of Jaebeom’s hands that was meant to be for him whenever they baked cakes and muffins for the weekend. 

Of course, Jaebeom’s lips grew a little pouty as he denied him the chance of the sweet cream. He wouldn't in the end as if he could deny Jaebeom a wish, Youngjae knew how much he loved to lick things clean and he couldn't help but smile about the puckering lips across from him. Jaebeom became such a sweet tooth over time while Youngjae was more the savory type but again, it was the perfect match since they wouldn't eat what the other liked.

It was Jaebeom’s favorite 'job' to clean the baking utensils whenever Youngjae made cupcakes with his favorite mint cream frosting. Jaebeom was just the happiest whenever he could lick the steel utensil clean after Youngjae was finished draping the white and sugary cream onto the small cakes, just as much as he loved to get a taste of Jaebeom’s mess and his strawberry taste. But now his favorite thing was denied and all he could do was to push his tongue inside his mouth again, moving his muscle around to get at least a little something out of it. 

“We are not finished… There is more here…” Jaebeom gave back, a smile playing around his lips as he slid his cock against Youngjae's belly, up and down before painting a heart on his skin with his soft going length. Jaebeom got up from Youngjae’s lap, looking down at him as he licked over his swollen lips. Youngjae’s gaze trailed over Jaebeom’s upper body, his mouth watering as he pulled Jaebeom's pants fully down, his milky tights finally seeing the light of the day. Jaebeom’s hands grabbed his hair again, firmly, as he lifted one of his legs up into the air to kiss over his inner thighs, moaning as the soft and warm flesh found the way against his tongue. Youngjae’s teeth dug into his skin before he started to suck to leave a mark, marking his territory as if someone else could see the spot except for him.

“Give me more... I need you... I need you inside…” Jaebeom whispered, his blushed face buried in Youngjae's soft locks. With an eager nod, Youngjae got out of his shirt as well, his pants following as Jaebeom sank down onto the fluffy carpet right in front of them. He gulped heavily, Jaebeom’s waiting hole clenching around nothing as he raised his ass up in the air. He was on his knees, his cheeks spreading wide enough to give Youngjae a sight of his pinkish hole as he rested on his forearms to wave his ass right in front of Youngjae’s face, inviting him to use him as he pleased.

Jaebeom’s upper body just sank closer to the floor, his ass rising further up as Youngjae grabbed his ass cheeks with his huge and mainly hands. Firmly, he squeezed them, a moan left Jaebeom’s lips as his thumb slid into his wet and slick leaking hole. “So wet, so needy for my cock...” he whispered, more to himself than to Jaebeom as he slid his finger further in. He couldn’t hold back the urge to thrust his finger deep inside, adding a second one soon after to make a place for his swollen length. He felt impatient, how could he not when his favorite boy was like that in front of him.

Jaebeom moved his ass against his palm, moving his hips to push his fingers deeper and to get a better feel of Youngjae’s hand against his skin. Youngjae leaned closer since couldn't suppress the urge to bury his head between Jaebeom's soft and full cheeks. His nose brushed over the wet entrance, inhaling the scent deeply that was particularly strong in this certain place, not minding the wet trace of slick it left on his face. Sweet, sweet strawberry he thought as he sucked there with his greedy mouth, his cock growing harder if that was even possible. Jaebeom shivered as the cold air hit his hole, his legs shaking by the pleasure that filled his body before Youngjae left the place between his cheeks after he had pressed another kiss on his puckering entrance gently. 

He wasn't done yet with all these sweet kisses, even if he wanted to, needed to feel him around his cock so bad, it nearly drove him crazy. Youngjae placed soft kisses around his ass, soft little kisses like butterfly wings around his puckering hole before he licked over the rim with a wet stripe, feeling the movements of Jaebeom clenching against his tongue. He knew Jaebeom wanted more, wanted to feel his tongue or cock deep inside but he wouldn't give in, wouldn't be so quick to give him what he wanted when he enjoyed it so much to lick the slick off his rosy taint. 

“Can you hurry up? Please?” Jaebeom asked, or more pleaded when Youngjae kept avoiding his prostate knowingly as he slid his finger deep inside again. Jaebeom buried his face in the soft fabric under them immediately, feeling embarrassed about his own words but Youngjae couldn't help to smile, another small victory for him again. 

Usually, it wasn't necessary to stretch a hybrid open when he was in his heat, at least that's what Jackson and some books said but Jaebeom still had his troubles to take him without preparation, so he rather took his time to slide inside when he didn't want to hurt Jaebeom in any kind of way. In the end, it was foreplay they both enjoyed as well, his fingers deep inside of him to massage the sweet spot which made him see stars even by day and light. Jaebeom liked it though, he knew from the times before but today he seemed even more desperate to feel his cock and not only his fingers. 

Youngjae sat on his heels, looking down at his lover when Jaebeom turned around onto his back, his face all flushed and sweaty from the arousal that was burning on his stomach. "So beautiful…" he whispered, totally stunned by Jaebeom's beauty once again. He should be used to seeing him like that, it wasn't the first time but still, he would never get used to Jaebeom's sparkling eyes and his soft and pretty features. 

Jaebeom spread his legs widely open for him, his little cock resting painfully hard on his soft belly, waiting for him to finally give him another release he was looking for. He watched him attentively, not a single movement which he missed as Jaebeom lolled around on the soft carpet, the other’s gaze resting hungrily on his hard cock while smiling seductively by the sight. It was more than nice to feel so desired he wouldn't lie, under Jaebeom's gaze he felt just so hot but in a comfortable way. It gave him more confidence but also made it clear for him how much Jaebeom liked to be with him by now.

His body was shaking as Jaebeom's fluffy tail wrapped around his length, pulling him slightly, tucking him closer into the direction where it belonged to be. Between his cheeks, buried deep inside of him. "Jae… I want you so bad, please…. Please take me, make me feel good," Jaebeom whimpered, his hands caressing over his own chest as he looked at him through hooded eyes. "Please…" He begged another time, his hands groping his tits to get at least something to get off. 

Jaebeom wrapped his arms around his legs, pulling them closer against his chest to give Youngjae a better view between his cheeks, his hole asking to be filled, clenching wildly around the thin air. He couldn't move, Jaebeom never had been this daring before. It seemed like the shyness about all these things was blown away and it made his heart flutter by the thought of Jaebeom being more comfortable around him a little more. 

With a quick move, finally snatching out of his daze as Jaebeom asked shyly to be fucked, please, he leaned over his body. Youngjae's hands rested next to Jaebeom's head as he lined his hardness up against his rim, slowly sliding up and down before he finally pushed in with a choked gasp. It felt so hot, so wet when Jaebeom sucked him in fully, his pelvis right against Jaebeom’s ass. His arms were already shaking, barely holding him up as he finally was fully inside. "God it feels so good, I missed that…," he breathed out, his mouth agape as he looked down at Jaebeom's face with a hungry gaze. 

"Me too, I missed you. Can you please… please fu... take me? I can't wait anymore…" Jaebeom whispered, his face hidden between his arms to avoid Youngjae's stunned gaze. He was so happy he could cry but instead, he took Jaebeom's hands off his face and pinned them against the soft and fluffy carpet, intertwining their fingers softly.

"Please don't hide,..." he whispered, his voice shaking as he waited for Jaebeom's nod that it was okay to ask him for a favor like this. He knew he should respect when Jaebeom felt shy but there was no need, no reason to feel like this when they knew each other now by heart. "It's okay,..." He said, his thumb brushing over Jaebeom's palm to give him a little more comfort. 

"I will move now okay?" he whispered against his lips, a moan slid from his mouth as Jaebeom clenched around him in response. His hips finally started to move, slow but hard, skin slapping against each other as he pushed in and out. He moaned into Jaebeom's ear with each thrust of his hips. His name and how much he liked it to be inside. It felt like Jaebeom was even tighter than before, maybe it was because of the time that passed without them doing it but it felt just too good to complain about it. 

Youngjae gave up on holding himself up as he leaned onto his forearms, his head resting in the crook of Jaebeom’s neck, feeling his breath tickling against his skin. Jaebeom was a moaning mess beneath him, his legs tightly wrapped around his hips to push him even deeper. He whined as he felt Jaebeoms nails digging into the flesh of his cheeks, gasping for air as the slight pain made his head spin. He gasped even more as Jaebeom used the chance to roll on top of him, straddling him to take the lead like this which he never did before.

“Let me help you…” Jaebeom whispered with a tender smile and Youngjae wasn’t aware of how obvious it was, that the tiredness of his bones and body made him slow-motioned and short-breathed. “I’m sorry…” he said, embarrassment flushed his cheeks in a soft red as he felt the others’ stare onto him. Usually, he could be the lover that he thought Jaebeom needed, always giving his best without needing something huge in return. It was his own standard, his own need to be the one who took the lead since Jaebeom was still so shy. But today his body felt so tired, even if he wanted and needed to feel Jaebeom so bad so he was more than happy when Jaebeom made an effort to do the work today.

“Why are you sorry? It’s all good,” he gave back with a smile when Youngjae's hands found the way onto his soft tights, stroking them up and down with closed eyes. His soft tights were just the best, if someone asked him he would probably just say that. But of course, everything about Jaebeom was just the best, every inch and centimeter was pure gold and a precious treasure he longed to touch at every chance he got.

"I'm so full, so full of you." Jaebeom's whispered quietly as he slid his palm over his belly, gazing down there with a gentle expression. Youngjae held his breath as he looked up, his heart clenching when he felt the emotions sweeping in his mind. They tried it for some time by now and even if the doctor promised them everything was alright, there was no positive sign, not even the smallest one. Maybe it was because of Jaebeom's past, maybe it was his own that held them back. But maybe the wish was denied for whatever reasons, he wasn't sure.

Before he could get lost in sad thoughts, Jaebeom started to lift his hips, his head falling into his neck as he sank down again with shaking legs. Youngjae could just smile, his body relaxing into the soft fabric under him as he watched Jaebeom please himself onto his lap. No matter what, they would continue to try, and even if nothing would happen in the future, it couldn’t tear them apart, he was more than sure of it. It would just be a bonus to their love and not a reason for them to stay together, he never wanted to raise a child out of these reasons when he was a wished one as well. 

The sun was shining right through the window behind his lover, illuminating Jaebeom with a soft glow like an angel as he threw his head back and forth. He was so pretty, so beautiful it took his breath away. His smile felt like the morning sun falling down on him, soft and gentle, blinding Youngjae with his beauty and his gentleness, warming him up deep inside. It was perfect, the moment. That's how heaven must feel, Youngjae was sure about it. 

He wasn't sure who saved who and no matter how many times he thought about it, he never came to a conclusion. If he was the one who saved Jaebeom or if it was the other way around. Maybe they saved each other equally, it must be like this. Jaebeom was the one who made him happy, who made him smile and laugh out loud. He was the one who gave him back his smile, the color in his life, and filled the empty feeling space in his chest. It was Jaebeom, the human-sized band-aid that wrapped tightly around his pained heart, body, and his soul to heal him with his love and beaming smile. And Youngjae knew he had the same impact on Jaebeom's bruised heart and mind.

He cupped his angel’s rosy cheek, pulling him down for a gentle kiss. He looked at Jaebeom from so close, his eyes flicking over the pretty face right in front of him. “I love you so much...” was all he could say, hoping Jaebeom would understand the words he couldn’t bring out loud. Youngjae had never been good with speaking out his emotions but under Jaebeom's gaze, he felt like he was such an open book, the pages of his soul open to be read in a secret language just Jaebeom could understand.

Youngjae couldn't help but moan into the kiss when Jaebeom speeded up his pace, clenching around him tightly while his legs began to shake even more, feeling every twitching of Jaebeom’s muscles under his sweaty palms. He breathed out heavily, even if he didn't have to move at all to make his lover feel good since he did it so well by himself, his hips kept snapping upwards into Jaebeom's heat, craving to make him spill sweet sounds that told him how much Jaebeom enjoyed it like this. His nails were digging into Jaebeom's soft cheeks, his whole body shaking when Jaebeom licks into his mouth with his greedy tongue. It was just so hot, so damn lewd but surprisingly he doesn't feel ashamed about it anymore, wanting even more than just that. 

He felt like he was a wild animal, when he pushes deeper into his lover's heat with each thrust that he made, his fingers tangled in Jaebeom’s’s soft wet hair. He feels dizzy from the lack of air, their lips never losing the connection as if they were glued together. He felt so close to Jaebeom, as if they melted into each other, becoming one when he hugged Jaebeom even tighter. Melting into a puddle of sweat, body-liquids, naughty sounds but also a sea of so much love.

"It feels so good, you make me feel so good," Jaebeom cries out in pleasure when his hips snap forward hard and sharp, hitting his sweetest spot right on, making him see stars by day. Jaebeom gasps for air, his shaking breath tickling against Youngjae's neck when he continues to thrust into his lover's wetness at the same fast pace he needed to come close. Lewd sounds fill the hot summer air, their moans dancing in the thickness of the room while their crashing skins join them to underline the song they wrote, making music that was just meant to be heard from them. A love song they wrote together with their bodies and their beating hearts. 

"I'm so close…" he breathed out, looking up to Jaebeom through fluttering eyes. A tiny smile grew on his face when Jaebeom could just nod, small hiccuping sounds leaving his throat when he slammed his hips onto Youngjae's cock. "Together…" Jaebeom moaned out into his ear, his mouth hanging slightly open when the drool dripped down his chin. Still, he was the most perfect person Youngjae ever saw, he could get lost in Jaebeom's beauty, his dark eyes, and his rosy blushed face. 

His eyes flew open when Jaebeom pinned him against the carpet, their hands intertwined as if Jaebeom was holding onto dear life. Their eyes were locked, at least as much as possible when Youngjae had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes into the back of his head. He could feel the boiling heat in his lower stomach, could feel how close he was, and hearing Jaebeom's whines from times before, Youngjae knew he was just as close as him. 

Youngjae's thrusts became uneven, his whole body shaking when he finally released his hot load into Jaebeom's waiting heat, painting his walls finally in white color. Jaebeom didn’t stop to rock his hips onto him, his little cock spilling his seeds just a second after when it rubbed there between their bellies, feeling hot and sticky against his skin. He loved it so much, loved to feel Jaebeom's warmth all over his body, gluing them together even more. 

He buried his face in the crook of Jaebeom's neck, his lover still twitching slightly in his embrace when he slowly came down from his overwhelming high. Youngjae inhaled his scent deeply, his lips gently kissing the soft skin of Jaebeom's throat while he could feel his pulse beating rapidly under his tongue. Jaebeom’s heavy breath stilled soon and was replaced with his soft purrs when Youngjae's hand slid over the soft skin of his back, his fingertips dancing over Jaebeom's spine up and down, making him shiver with every still so tiny touch. 

He couldn't help to fill his lungs with Jaebeom's scent, even if his whole body was craving for fresh air, he just couldn't get enough of filling his mind with his lover’s ones instead. Right there in the crook of his neck, it wasn't the pure and strong strawberry scent, not the overwhelmingly strong one like down there, it was much finer, lighter, like a gentle kiss. It was the medicine he needed to make him feel better, the place his nose and lips belonged whenever he hugged his lover tightly.

It was his favorite scent, not because it was the sign for Jaebeom's arousal burning heat or the promise of getting intimate, no, it reminded him of waking up next to Jaebeom on rainy days as well as on sunny ones. It reminded him of watching Jaebeom in his sleep, listening to his snores as if it was music to his ears, writing a whole masterpiece. It reminded him of hugging Jabeom after a hard day, after a happy day, or just in between, it reminded him of feeling wanted and being safe in someone else's arms. It reminded him how loved he was and how much love he could give to Jaebeom which was appreciated so much. Reminded him of sleepless nights without the other, the scent still lingering in the small cat plush they brought together, which was recharged with Jaebeom’s scent when they could sleep together again. 

It reminded him of small kisses against Jaebom’s neck whenever they were in the cinema, together with the sweet smell of popcorn when some of them got lost in the collar of Jaebeom’s shirt whenever he greedily stuffed his mouth with the puffed corns. It reminded him of feeling loved and it reminded him of feeling home. Not the alluring smell that made him go crazy over Jaebeom was his favorite. It was Jaebeom's natural scent a mix of strawberry and summer sun, and it felt so warm just like the sun Jaebeom brought into his life again. The scent, that couldn't be described except for feeling at home, feeling loved, and loving back. Because whenever they hugged, he buried his nose there to calm himself down, to ease the tenseness in his body or just to fill his battery up again. In Jaebeom's arms, with his lips against his soft neck, it was his favorite place, his home, his safe haven he always could come back to. 

It wasn’t the house he loved to come back to after being out for hours, it was Jaebeom who gave him the meaning of feeling home and no walls, no house, and no room could give Youngjae as much comfort as he found while being with Jaebeom. Sure their current house was filled with loving memories, of them now but also of their and his own past. There was a time he could never imagine leaving this all behind, his body attached to the memories he made like a fly trapped in the spiders’ net. But now, he realized that it wasn’t the house nor the town that was important, there was always a way to be close to the past or current friends. It was the person by his side who filled the empty places of his home with color and with light.

"Do you remember when we were lying on the meadow under the cherry blossom tree? when we visited my parents?” he asked, his voice showing heavy signs of his tiredness. He felt tired, he had to force his eyes to stay open but he needed to know the answer to the question that swept into his mind.

Jaebeom nodded probably feeling just as exhausted as himself." How could I forget, it was so nice," he whispers, and Youngjae knew pictures flashed in front of both of their inner eyes when they thought about the certain moment, remembering how they giggled about the rosy petals in each others hair when they were in bed again, revealing that they didn’t brush their hair out of lazy ess which was kind of rare for Youngjae. But back there on this day, he didn’t care at all about these things. It was the first day where he realized that he felt so free and comfortable and not so stressed about everything when he was with Jaebeom. He made him finally breathe freely without the heaviness always lingering on his chest.

"I thought…. maybe we…" Jaebeom lifts himself up by Youngjae’s words, raising his eyebrows when he didn’t continue to speak. Youngjae smiled when Jaebeom kissed his nose and cheeks with his soft but wet lips, the warmth of Jaebeoms love filling his body up once more, erasing every drop of uncertainty.

"What did you think about...?" Jaebeom asks before he sank down onto him again, starting to purr again when Youngjae brushed his thumb over the back of his head in gentle motions, right where he liked it the most. 

"What do you think about moving there? I mean near my parents… to the countryside... Just you and me, a little house just for both of us…" he nearly whispered, his face blushed since he felt so nervous, afraid Jaebeom wouldn't like the idea to spend their life somewhere else than the place that was filled with so many memories of the past. 

"I would love that… but what’s with…" 

"Mhm? "

"This house here… you love it so much, I don't want you to regent leaving it behind. And your friends, your work..." 

"It’s okay… I won’t regent it because I found something that feels more like home than these walls could ever feel.” he breaths out, hugging Jaebeom tighter if that was even possible, hoping he could feel how sincere he was

"Wh… what did you find?" 

"You… you are my home Jaebeom. In your arms, just like now, I feel like home more than I could feel somewhere else."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy about every Kudo, every comment and even about constructive criticism.  
> Seriously, every yet so small comment makes us writers happy <3

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always happy about helpful criticism or a nice comment.
> 
> anyway thank you for reading 🌼


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